I (43m) really want to start going back to church

I used to go as a kid but when I entered middle school I started using Christianity as a reason to hate certain people. I’m a lot more religious now than I was when I was younger, but I’m struggling to find the confidence to go to church. I’m overweight (5’4” 240) and have BPD and I’m afraid that people will judge me. I guess that’s a weird thing to be thinking about when I’m going to church but it’s a big deal to me. I’m open to all different types of Christian churches. Any advice on how to get myself to get back in church?