What the fuck am I doing with my life.

Very rarely do I let my thoughts get the best of me and I’ve finally let it slip away. <br><br>I’ve been destined to be the background for most of my life. I’m just a support character, I have no one to turn to, no one to rely on, nothing to hold onto. <br><br>I’m alone. I will be alone and I will die alone. <br><br>I’m done gambling for the chance of being able to share myself with another person. I will be crumpled into the trash and I will never even get the chance to be seen. <br><br>I’ve had to rely on myself my entire life. I’m exhausted. I don’t want to have to rely on myself anymore. I want to rely on someone else. I want to get to know someone, I want to see sides of them that no one else has seen, I want to love someone and see who they really are. <br><br>I’ve died before for changes that never came. I’ve died for the chance of love that never arrives and death is cold. <br><br>What am I doing anymore? Who am I for? Who is caring for me? Who am I living for? <br><br>I’m tired, I’m so tired. <br><br>My message in a bottle has been crushed. I’ll die on these seas alone, never even getting to the point of rescue.