Was I some sort of sicko when I "abused" my brother?

The same man who I asked to be my husband. The same man I love so much.<br><br><br>The other day he told me that we should consider having an open marriage. Then I started to think back to when I was a sicko towards him. I was 13 and made him have sex with me. It was good. I am sick. Should I divorce him? Share your thoughts.