My husband (33M) has thrown me (32F) under the bus to his family and blamed our issues on ME. How do I handle?

Hi all, I need some advice and perspective.<br><br>I have been married to my husband for a decade, and things have not been good. **We are trying to work it out in couples counseling** but it has been slow going and he has a lot of work ahead of him to rebuild my trust. <br><br>We fought recently and have been having some marital issues. <br><br>Husband is not the type to usually engage with his family unless they approach him, and they know this. However, his mother called to tell me how sad and angry she was with me for not being the best wife. <br><br>She told me she was upset because I didn’t take care of myself, wasn’t the best mother and am gaining weight while he is working so hard. She said I didn’t spend enough time making our house a happy home. I was floored. <br><br>I asked her how he was doing, and instead of making excuses for her son, she reinforced that I should be taking care of him and I am NOT. <br><br>I said “so what you’re saying is that it’s MY fault your son is upset?” She said yes.<br><br>I said “I think we should have a three way phone call with your son so he can help clarify this for us.” <br><br>She said “oh, he told me EVERYTHING.” <br><br>I said “I don’t believe you. Your son would never tell you all of our issues. You’re mad at ME because you think I broke your happy home illusion.” <br><br>She said “the truth hurts”. <br><br>Then I said “I’m going to call your son and conference him in to this phone call with us.” <br><br>Instead of calling him, she offered the yarn that “he never answers my calls.”<br><br>Meanwhile I dial her son/my husband, and he picks up on the first ring, and I put him on speaker phone and say “your mother is so concerned about our marriage!” <br><br>He said “everything is fine.” <br><br>She said “It’s not fine!” <br><br>Then she said “we’ll talk later dear, I have to go.” <br><br>It 100% seemed like he threw me under the bus as he has before, and even worse, she believed him. <br><br>I sent him a text that said “so how did you tell your mom I’m the problem? I bet your whole family thinks I’m the reason why things aren’t good between us. Never mentioning the fact that you split the household labor 90/10 in your favor.” <br><br>He didn’t respond. Then when we spoke later, he wouldn’t talk.<br><br>How can I handle this situation? Should I call his mom and tell her my side?