AITA for telling my MIL "I will do what it takes to have a happy marriage. But being married to you is not what I want. So I will divorce you."

Background info: I (28F) am the byproduct of my father's infidelity and his affair with my mother. His original plan was to abort me and forget the whole thing ever happened. When my mother changed her mind and decided to keep me, my father did everything in his power to make her change her mind. When my birth was imminent, my father offered to pay for her to go to a foreign country and give birth there, so she wouldn't have a local hospital record of giving birth, and then arrange for the child to be adopted. My mother agreed. But she came back to my father's hometown and worked for him without telling him she had changed her mind. My grandmother helped my mother by secretly taking me while my mother worked in my father's restaurant, and helped her establish contact with my father's wife after I turned 6. She and my sisters and brother had no idea about my existence. I only found this out when I turned 18. I confronted my father about it and he didn't want to admit anything, but the DNA report proved our relation. He offered me money to shut up. My mother and grandmother didn't want that and told him that I was his daughter and they wanted him to make things right with his family by telling them about me. He did, and we have been the talk of the town ever since. My father's wife and their children bullied and shunned me without remorse, and even though they're my family by blood I have come to the realization that family, no matter how carefully you feed and nourish it, won't grow, thrive and bear fruit if it doesn't receive love. My father tried to buy their approval and love, but the fact that my mere presence "tainted" what they thought of as a happy home and family for them was too much to bear and they became unreasonable in their demands. My relationship with my "family" took a backseat after I got into university, and when I met my first love. I fell deeply in love with him, and he express that he wanted to propose to me but said he couldn't reconcile the idea of marrying someone with "baggage" like me. I broke up with him and started going out more. My "family" started being more nasty and demanding that I stop going out because I was "making our family look bad". I stopped trying to make amends and started dating someone new. We got serious and he wanted to propose but my "family" went to him and told him that I wasn't a virgin and wasn't the marrying type but rather the sleeping around type, which wasn't true because my first love was my first. He started questioning me. My "family" started being more nasty and I started ignoring their calls and messages. They kept telling me that I had to shape up and not embarrass them. They told me that I shouldn't be that surprised when random men hit on me because I was a random. I basically became a prisoner and I couldn't escape because my father's wife and children were taking over my life. I couldn't escape and they had a lot to say to anyone I met and dated and even my colleagues at work. I couldn't breathe and they were taking over my life. When my current husband proposed, we decided to have a small wedding with just our parents and siblings present, but my "family" tried to get in the way of that, too, and told my husband I wasn't a virgin and that my mother and I were both randoms and that's how we survive, by using our bodies. They told him that I had the audacity of thinking that I was too good for them and that I wanted to start fresh and erase the fact that I had a family. I was surprised that my husband didn't dump me and instead he and his parents called them out on their behavior and told them to stop projecting their insecurities on me. It's been 3 years since then and they've made no changes in their behavior towards me and my husband. They want us to give them money and change their lives, but my husband and his parents say we're not their personal atm machines. Last night they showed up and said that they gave me life and saw me through all these years, so the least I could do was to give them food and shelter because they're entitled to a comfortable life courtesy of our "family bond" and that if we didn't cough up the money they'd go to the media and tell the whole country how I was the reason behind my parents' divorce and that my husband and his parents abused and starved me. My husband came into the room and threw them out. My father called today and told me that what my husband did was abuse and I should have stood up for them. I feel like my "family" crossed the line and my husband and his parents are my real family because they're the only people who ever had my back.<br><br>Edit: This went into r/all before I could add the update I wanted to add, so here it is:<br><br>Update: This blew up and I'm overwhelmed by the kindness and I'm really heartbroken that so many of you have gone through similar or worse ordeals and you're all so brave and strong and you're surviving, thriving and overcoming against all odds. Thank you so, so, so much for rewarding this post with all the awards. I'm so touched and I feel so grateful. Thank you so, so, so much for all the rewards and for the gold, platinum and kind words. I'm so, so, so glad that we have such a friendly and supportive community like this sub, where you can openly talk about delicate issues without anyone shaming and judging you. You don't know what it means to me and to so many others to know that we're among good people who understand us and have our backs when we need someone to talk to. Thank you so, so, so much and I wish you all the best.<br><br>I've been reading all the comments and I just wanted to clear a few things up: Some of you have expressed confusion over my relationship with my parents. My mother and father are divorced and have been for a very long time. My father's side have no idea about my life and they had no idea about me until I turned 6 (and only because my mother became ill and couldn't take care of me and my grandmother couldn't either because she had health issues of her own) and 18 (because I wanted to know my father). My father did bribe my mother to keep her mouth shut and keep me a secret but my mother told him that she couldn't keep me a secret forever and that she'd raise me as her own and teach me to become a good person and make sure I had a happy life. My father said that he'd take care of me and provide for me but he wanted her to keep me a secret and deny that I was his daughter. When they found out about me when I turned 18, my grandmother said that enough was enough, my father and his family couldn't keep me a secret and deny me forever, and that she wanted them to know about me, too. My mother tried to convince her otherwise but she was too stubborn and got my father's wife's number from me and called her and told her everything. My parents became friends with my in-laws but my "family" tried to drive a wedge between us by spreading false rumors, and when we got married they tried to ruin our honeymoon by keeping in touch with us and telling us they would die if we didn't take care of them and that they had no place to go. They spoiled the mood and I had what my husband describes as a "meltdown" but he and his parents stayed calm and patient with me and helped me overcome my anxiety. After that we stopped taking their calls and messages and blocked their numbers.<br><br>Some of you have pointed out in the comments that my father's side are technically my family but you're right, the way they treated and continue to treat me makes me feel like I'm such a burden to have around and I'm better off without them. My husband's family are my family by all accounts because they were there for me when I was heartbroken, comforting me and telling me, "We're so lucky to have you in our family. You're our greatest blessing. Thank you so much for marrying our son. Thank you so, so, so much for choosing us and choosing to be part of our lives. You're our daughter and our son's wife and a part of us, and we couldn't bear losing you for the world," and they told me, "Please promise us you'll never break down over them again. They're not worth your time, effort and tears. We're so sorry but the world is full of people like them and there's nothing we can do about it now. All we can do is promise you we'll always have your back, no matter what."<br><br>Some of you asked about my mother and grandmother. My mother works for my father's company, in the office as an accountant. She and my grandmother have a yearly pass to go abroad to any country they want courtesy of my husband, his parents and my father. They go to Japan once or twice a year. My mother has a part time job as an interpreter and my grandmother and I volunteer as interpreters part time, too. My husband's family has a tradition where the men in the family learn a second language and the women learn a third language. My husband speaks fluent English and basic Japanese and Korean. His mother and sister speak Japanese and French fluently. His father, brother and cousins speak German fluently. My mother speaks Korean, English and Japanese fluently. My grandmother speaks Japanese and basic Korean and English. I speak Japanese fluently and basic English and Korean