A Few Examples Of The Best Masculine Programming

From my observation and experience, there exist "patterns" in how masculinity shows up in reality that seem especially malevolent. I'm wondering if anyone has a theory on types of maladaptive masculinity. I'm not sure if there is much to be done about it outside of education and exposure, but perhaps simply acknowledging these patterns can help with the next stage of culture change. This is a handful of behaviors I've observed that seem especially toxic and I thought it was interesting that I'd seen them so many times in different men. If anyone has observed similar patterns I'd love to hear them as it will help me flesh out this outline and see more patterns.<br><br><br>Apologies to those of you who are "not that kind of man".<br><br><br>I'm not sure there is a such thing.<br><br> <br>1. (the frontal assault) Full on abusive or violent outbursts in response to being rejected, often from an entitled position, and escalating into hurtful or violent behavior or simply being rude and disrespectful.<br><br><br>e "I'm just getting home from working 60 hours/week and I paid for this date, it's only polite that you [perform some kind of sexual act]"<br><br><br>e "Because you rejected me, I'm going to ruin your life by making you look bad on your job or in front of your friends, and I'll write nasty things about you in public forums"<br><br><br>e Bursts of furious anger upon realizing that there is no "form" to fall into, that your masculinity is working against you, and anxieties about losing status because society is recognizing the flaws in traditional masculinity.<br><br><br>e This includes alcoholism and opioid abuse, as well as domestic and sexual assault.<br><br><br>e Battling these demons as if you are on crusade to prove your manhood and near complete denial that there is even a problem or that you have somehow been conned by culture.<br><br><br>2. (The subtle backstabber) A very subtle passive-aggressive strategy where a man will manipulate the social perception of you to isolate you from social support and grind you down through strategically placed small passive-aggressive events that seem negligible on their own. These kinds of attacks are personal, often calculated and delivered with precision, and seem to make these kinds of people feel like they have scored a solid hit against your social status.<br><br><br>e consitently back-handed compliments and subtle put downs or dismissals.<br><br><br>e making fun of the way you speak or your accent while simultaneously speaking over you and interrupting while you are trying to communicate.<br><br><br>e Purposefully belittling you in front of your friends or in public arenas, purposefully working to undermine your integrity and morality by making you look like a bad person. Don't ever expect to get an apology from these kinds of consciences which are completely lacking empathy for the damage they are causing you.<br><br><br>e Make you look unattractive and boring, and try to erase any attractiveness or popularity you have in your life by casting you as a but or some other form of loser, or maybe make you look too sensitive or too delicate in order to grind you down and move in for the kill.<br><br><br>e High levels of narcissism in the most "innocent" looking guys who will pretend to be your best friend and look stunned if you call out their behavior, acting as though they have never done a single thing to hurt you, even if you have been close friends for years. "I'm just trying to get to know you better and am coming on strong so that we can have a deep and real relationship together NOW THANK ME FOR ALL OF THE HELP I GAVE YOU." They will move on to the next mark the moment you blow them off.<br><br><br>e They are experts at hiding their actions and have developed advanced linguistic tools to deflect any form of criticism or accusation. They gaslight shamelessly and have no qualms about playing the victim even when they aren't. "You're making a big deal out of nothing, why can't you consider a man's perspective?"<br><br><br>3. (The wolf in sheep's clothing) Men who are using progressive politics and feminist leanings to get close enough to abuse you. These men are sometimes the most difficult to identify in the wild.<br><br><br>e a patriarchal man will sometimes put himself up as a paragon of feminist virtue while being the most chauvinistic piece of shit on the inside. These are the guys who are closest to being sociopathic in my experience and are cold, calculating, and Machiavellian in how they will manipulate you into playing into their hands, and the whole time you will feel like you are in a loving relationship with someone who respects you deeply.<br><br><br>e A man who is privately insecure and chauvinistic while publicly flaunting his progressive credentials to gain access to the trust of a feminist leaning woman. Once in the relationship, he will slowly begin to dismantle the feminist facade as you move in closer, offering compromises on things that aren't compromises and disarming you by promoting the fallacy that feminism is a radical movement that staunchly resists working within patriarchy. After that, he will start chipping away and dismantling your progressive ideologies, grinding you down gradually by infiltrating your high level decision making processes and making you second guess your own choices. He will make you doubt your own memory and sanity, gaslighting to his last dying breath.<br><br><br>e They are experts at hiding their actions and have developed advanced linguistic tools to deflect any form of criticism or accusation, as well as an ability to wear different kinds of masks for different situations, although their favorite is the wolf in sheep's clothing. They relish in any power they can gain over women, while keeping up a public image of being a protector and advocate for feminist and progressive causes, usually taking on the role of a paternalistic protector who knows what is best for you, better than you know yourself in fact.<br><br><br>e In this archetype, they will often use medicine as a tool to compromise your mental state by offering solutions to your depression and anxiety that they know will undermine your willpower and clarity. This is the most commun form of being hospitalized and lobotomized as a woman in our society, in my experience as well as in terms of sheer statistics.<br><br><br>e These kinds of men often have a lot of privilege and power in culture and are hard to pin down in the wild because they hide behind masks of "support" and "advocacy" for progressive causes, all while they are undermining the people they claim to support.<br><br><br>e "I'm just trying to help you, these are hard times we're living in, why are you being so paranoid and defensive? Everything I do is to help you."<br><br><br>e They will deny that there is a problem to your dying breath, and they will never admit to any of their own failings or wrongdoings.<br><br><br>There are many other examples of these three types that I've seen, and they are by no means exhaustive, but if you have any observations or experiences you'd like to share about different types of masculine programming, please share them.<br><br> <br>TLDR: Please share any observations you've had about patterns of male behavior in the context of oppressive masculine programming.