A little story.

This is something that happened to me. I know you guys don’t really care about me or my story, and that’s okay. I’m just posting this so that I can get the fucker out of my headspace. <br><br>Once upon a time, I was in a very unhappy relationship. The woman I was with was all around terrible. She was the emotionally abusive type, who skipped class to do heroin and just generally made my life miserable. She was selfish and manipulative, and would use everyone for her own good if given the opportunity, and had no qualms about stealing. Throughout our time together, I grew to despise her.<br><br>However, one of the worst nights of my life came wheb she had recently been bullied out of our class by a group of guys who did not like her. She was doing heroin as often as she could, and even did it in front of me. She was “dating” twice her amount in guys on the side, and would usually leave class at lunch to do heroin with one of them. A few weeks before, she was kicked out of our house because my mom would no longer stand for her shit. So she moved to another part of the city, which I was also kind of happy about, in retrospect. Anyway, that night was particularly bad for her. She was having a major crisis for reasons I can’t remember, so she called me and told me that she needed my help. <br><br>I hopped on a bus and took it across the city to her, and when I got there, she was drinking in the middle of the street, and the moon was full. She was already turning into a werewolf “because of her trauma”, but after a few hours of me trying to get her sober, she started talking about not being human. She hadn’t eaten in three days, so I went to the store around the corner to get her some food. When I got back, she was already out of control and threatening to kill herself, so I tried my hardest to calm her down. I was so afraid to leave her, because she started having convulsions on the ground, but eventually I managed to get her to eat and drink some water. Through all of this, she just laughed and told me she was having fun. <br><br>I decided that, since I was stranded there and didn’t want to leave her, I would just sleep on the ground next to her while she was in one of her episodes. Eventually I fell asleep, but it wasn’t long until I was woken up to her laughing and screaming in random people’s faces, while I tried to get her to stop. I was mortified, but she just thought it was funny because of her “trauma”. She even had the nerve to fuck with people who were working graveyard at the gas station nearby, and would just laugh as I tried to stop her. She was just a nasty little shit, and she only cared about herself. <br><br>Now, when I woke up, she had somehow managed to get herself sober enough to want to do heroin. So she took me to the gas station, and started doing heroin there. I was mortified, and tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t. She even had the audacity to give me the look of death when the cashier started talking about how bad heroin is, and started to give us shit. She wouldn’t even stop when I offered to buy more- she just kept going while the cashier and I tried to talk about how bad she was for my life. <br><br>She then called her drug dealer and went behind a dumpster and did heroin with him for hours, while I sat on the sidewalk, drinking the liquor we’d bought for her at the liquor store. She didn’t come back for most of the night; twice I saw her and tried to get her to go to the bus stop with me, but she refused and told me to go to the park and wait for her. So I went, but she never came. Instead, she stole my phone charger and took it back to her place, where she left it on the charger before she went to get food. I didn’t find out about this until well after I got my phone back. She never came back for me until hours later, when she came back and told me she’d sobered up. She insisted that we walk back to her place, and I stupidly agreed. <br><br>We walked for a long time, but for some dumb reason she was sober enough to navigate on her own. Once we got there, she started doing it again, and I was so fed up by then that I just locked myself in the room where she was doing it and cried. I told her that I didn’t care if she was high, because I didn’t care about her anymore. She tried to come to me and comfort me, but I wouldn’t let her. I told her I wouldn’t ever let her touch me again, and that I wanted to go home. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me she was coming with me, and I wouldn’t let her. I tried to call an Uber to take me home, but my phone was dead after she’d spent all night on it. <br><br>At this point, she’d already been doing heroin for hours, and was extremely stoned. But at this, she sat up and started laughing hysterically. She went to the bathroom and showed me all of her heroin, and laughed while she took it and flushed it. My first thought was that she was just trying to get sympathy, so I laughed at her too. And then I remembered that she’d been doing heroin for weeks, and that she’d already flushed all of it. She was “showing me how much it meant to me” by getting rid of it all. And then she came back to me and tried to fuck me. I didn’t want to, but I let her anyway. <br><br>After that, she asked for my phone, and called her drug dealer. She tried to act out the way he asked her to, but couldn’t because she was too doped up, and insisted that she had flushed all of her heroin. She was all around terrible at making the video. She laughed through the whole thing, but acted all kind and gentle when she started to sober up. And that was the last good moment we ever had. She never recovered from doing that much heroin, and would never be able to do that much again. <br><br>When we got up the next morning, she immediately wanted to go to the store for more, and I wouldn’t let her. She was desperate, and I knew she’d go regardless, but I insisted on going together. On the way there was possibly the only time I’ve ever seen her cry without making a scene. She was crying because she couldn’t deal with the withdrawal of something she’d been doing for such a short amount of time, and knew she’d had a severe addiction. <br><br>When we got to the store, we bought enough to take the edge off, and I sat in focus as she did it in front of me. I didn’t say anything. I just sat there as she shot up the stuff, and then I went home. <br><br>I never saw her again. <br><br>I’ve never thought about her without being filled with disgust and hatred. And for some reason, that’s never left my head. I hate her, but I feel bad for her too. And more than that, I don’t know how I’m ever going to get her out of my head.<br><br>EDIT: I had to block a few people on here, but I appreciate all of your support and comments. I think this was good for me to post, and I really think that it’s helped me let go of her. Thank you all for being there.