AITA for banning my brother and SIL from my house because they hid my daughters’ periods products?

I (38F) have a daughter (15) and twin boys (12) . My brother (42M) has a daughter (16) and a son (13). Our kids are close in age because we both were young when we had them. My kids call my brother and SIL uncle and aunt and they refer to my brother’s kids as their cousin. <br><br>I’m not one to keep in contact frequently with family. We don’t live in the same city anymore because we moved about 6 years ago but they’re pretty much all the family the kids know outside of my husband’s side. I prefer to keep things casual with them. That means seeing them during the holidays and sometimes having dinner with them. <br><br>My brother and SIL will sometimes arrive at our place unannounced and expect us to host them overnight which I absolutely hate. This has caused a lot of problems before but thankfully they started to ask first after I had a talk with them about it. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. My husband is very resentful about my brother’s behavior and has told him in no uncertain terms that he’s not comfortable with them just showing up. My brother has said sorry but he always goes back to his old habits. With that in said, we do make sure the kids have a chance to spend time together. <br><br>Last month, my brother and SIL were in our town for some business and asked if they could stay the night with their kids. I said yes and that it was fine. <br><br>The night they stayed over, all the kids were upstairs in my daughter’s room getting ready to go to bed. My brother and SIL were in the guest bedroom getting settled in for the night and my husband and I were in the kitchen. My brother then tells us that our daughter and niece have started their periods. We were surprised because of the timing but also wasn’t sure because my daughter hadn’t told me anything about it yet. My brother then said that they were going to hide all the tampons and pads in the house because our daughters weren’t ready yet since they’re still young to use them and he didn’t want them to experiment with them. <br><br>I told him no and to get them back but SIL insisted and said that I was being paranoid. I said I wasn’t going to let them do that and he got mad. He said I was being difficult but I told him to put everything back. He wouldn’t and my husband got involved and took them back. <br><br>After they got ready for bed, I went to talk to my daughter who was upset that her cousin and her uncle had gone through her stuff. I apologized and said I’d buy her more period products in secret for when she wanted them. <br><br>My niece did end up having her period the next morning when she was getting ready to take a bath. She borrowed tampons from my daughter and they were both so happy when they could spend time together. They actually had their periods at the same time which made them both excited. <br><br>The night after was fine and the kids had a lot of fun together. The next morning, we were in the kitchen with the kids when they had to leave. My brother pulled me aside and said I disrespected him and made him look bad in front of his kids and wife. I took full responsibility and apologized for getting mad and told him I really didn’t want them to touch my daughter’s stuff. He said fine but that I really needed to let go of this need to control everything. I agreed and dropped it. <br><br>After they left, I texted SIL to say hi and that I hoped they had a good trip home. She didn’t respond but my brother did the next day. He said SIL wanted to talk to me on the phone and I said ok but didn’t hear anything from SIL for 2 days. I called her and she told me that my nieces and nephews weren’t welcomed over anymore which she understood. She said my brother was pissed about the incident and that he really felt like we made him look bad in front of the kids. <br><br>I told her that the kids didn’t hear us arguing but she said no. She meant that we really disrespected him when we took back the period products and that I made him feel bad for trying to look out for our daughters. I told her I really didn’t want them to go through my daughters stuff which was the only thing I cared about. She said that it was that kind of thinking that caused all the drama and she felt really bad saying it but I wasn’t being a good sister. I got mad and told her that I’m not the one who tried to hide my daughters period products. <br><br>Then she told me to stop trying to make my brother look bad and that he would be really upset when he heard what I said. I told her I wasn’t trying to do that but she said yes I was. I got mad and told her that she and my brother were not welcomed at my house anymore. She laughed and said she won’t miss it. <br><br>My brother called as soon as she hung up the phone. He told me the same thing that I really disrespected him and that I made him look bad. I told him that my house is my husbands and my space and I don’t want them there. He got mad and called me a bitch and said that I’m the type of person that only thinks about myself. He said that I’m not a good sister and I hurt his feelings when I didn’t let him protect my daughter. I told him that my husband protects my daughter. He told me to fuck off and that he’s not going to talk to me until I apologize for being a selfish bitch. <br><br>I told my husband about everything that happened and he was very angry. He told me I did the right thing and that I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. My kids also sided with me when I told them they weren’t welcomed over anymore.