A Christian, a Muslim, and an Atheist walk into a bar... (or, Who Goes to Heaven?)

**Introduction** This bit of dialogue between three old friends - a Christian, a Muslim, and an Atheist - serves as a provocation, inviting readers to engage with the question of who goes to Heaven (if anyone). The conversation below highlights some limitations and possible contradictions of Christianity and Islam, as well as the notion of an omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent God. Please be warned: this is not for the faint of heart. **Dialogue** Tom, Dick, and Harry are three friends from college. After graduating, Tom converted to Christianity, Dick converted to Islam, and Harry became an Atheist. One day, the three meet at a bar. Tom: Who do you think will populate Heaven? Harry: Well, since Heaven does not exist, no one will go there. Dick: In Islam, Heaven is reserved for Muslims. All other people will burn in Hell. Tom: In Christianity, Heaven is reserved for Christians. There is no salvation outside the church. Harry: Okay, but what about the indigenous people of the Americas, or the Aboriginal Australians, who had no chance of knowing about either Christianity or Islam? Tom: God has his ways of reaching those people without the need for Christian missionaries. Dick: Then why does Islam teach the importance of having religious teachers? Tom: Maybe those teachers were specially selected by God. Dick: But what about those who have never even heard of God? Tom: God will know what is in their hearts. If they have been good people, then he will allow them into Heaven. Harry: Even if they were never baptized? Tom: Yes, well, you see... baptism is necessary for Heaven. (pauses) Unless, of course, God allows unbaptized people into Heaven. Dick: But then why baptize at all? Tom: Baptism is necessary. Harry: Who goes to Heaven in Islam? Dick: In Islam, only Muslims go to Heaven. And even then, it is not a guarantee. You must also be a good Muslim. Harry: What about the Muslims who have committed heinous crimes? Like Honor Killings, or terrorists who kill innocent civilians? Dick: It is not our place to judge. Only God knows whether those people will go to Heaven or Hell. Harry: But then, why did God create Satan? Did he not know that Satan would disobey, and lead man astray? Dick: God created Satan as a temptor, to test man’s resolve. Harry: But why should we be tested? Is it not enough to be good people? Dick: Being good is not enough if you do not bow to God’s greatness. Harry: But what about those who bow to the wrong God? Dick: You must bow to the God of Islam, or else you will burn in Hell. Harry: Well then, what about Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Taoists, Shintoists, and all other manner of believers? Are they wrong? Dick: Yes, they are wrong. And they will burn in Hell unless they convert to Islam. Harry: That seems like a rather shallow notion of God - petty and cruel, sending billions to their deaths for no other reason than worshiping the wrong God. Dick: God is not shallow. You would know this if you were a good Muslim. Harry: Never mind. What about all non-human animals? Do they go to Heaven in Islam? Dick: In Islam, God will resurrect every animal, and then he will judge each one according to its deeds. Then the animals will disappear. Harry: But why create animals for the sole purpose of having them disappear after a period of time? Why bother with animal Kingdom at all? Dick: You would not understand. You are not a good Muslim. Harry: Okay, well then, what about all of the universally conscientious secular people who happen to be Atheists? Do they go to Heaven in Islam? Dick: No. Harry: Okay then, what about Muslims who happen to be immoral, like terrorists, or suicide bombers, or child molesters, or Honor Killers? Dick: We do not know God’s will. Use your faith. Harry: Faith is just a cop out for ignorance. Many Muslims do many horrible things. Why should I have faith in Islam when it leads people to commit atrocities? Dick: Well then, why should I have faith in Atheism? Look at all of the horrible things that Atheists have done throughout history! Harry: Atheists do not kill in the name of Atheism, however. And if they do kill, they are arrested and punished. Muslims kill in the name of Islam, and then go to Paradise. Dick: No, they go to Hell, of course. Harry: But does it make sense to have a God who sends billions of people to their deaths over a technicality like not worshiping the correct Deity? Dick: Yes. Harry: Well then, how can you trust such a God? How can you devotedly serve a God who sends countless people to Hell for arbitrary reasons like not worshiping in the correct way? Dick: You would not understand. You are not a good Muslim. Harry: Okay, well then, what about children who die at a young age? Do they go to Heaven in Islam? Dick: That is up to God to decide. No one knows. Harry: But what about the children who are aborted? Where do they go? Dick: That is up to God to decide. Harry: Okay then, how many Heaven’s are there in Islam? Dick: Ten. Harry: And who goes to those ten Heavens? Dick: All Muslims who have lived according to God’s will. Harry: And what about non-Muslims? Where do they go? Dick: All non-Muslims go to Hell, unless they convert to Islam. Harry: Okay then, who goes to Hell? Dick: The damned, of course, as well as all non-Muslims, unless they convert to Islam. Harry: But what about those who have never heard of Islam? Dick: God will judge them according to their deeds. Harry: But are they not damned already because they are not Muslims? Dick: Yes, obviously. Harry: Well then, how can God judge them according to their deeds if they are already damned? Dick: You would not understand. You are not a good Muslim. Harry: Okay, well then, what about the Quran? Is it the word of God? Dick: It is the perfect word of God. Harry: Then why are there so many contradictions and inconsistencies in the Quran? Does God not know his own mind? Dick: The Quran is not contradictory. It is only confusing for non-Muslims. Harry: Okay then, how should I conceive of God? Dick: God is all-knowing, all-powerful, merciful, and just. Harry: Then why does God create people who are damned, people whom he knows beforehand will never worship him? Why does God allow suffering? Why does God create cancer, arthritis, and Parkinson’s disease? What did we do to deserve those things? Dick: God has his reasons. Harry: Okay then, who made God? Dick: God has always existed. Harry: But why should I believe in an eternally existing, all-knowing, all-powerful, merciful, and just God? Dick: Because the Quran says so. Harry: Why should I believe the Quran? Dick: Because it is the word of God. Harry: Why should I believe God? Dick: Because the Quran says so. Harry: Okay, well then, how do you know that you yourself are not damned? Dick: I am a good Muslim. Harry: But what about all of the good people throughout history who have worshiped the wrong Gods? Do they not go to Heaven? Dick: They do not go to Heaven, but I do not know what God has planned for them. Harry: It seems to me that Islam is only a method for creating fear, and with that fear, control. Dick: You would not understand. You are not a good Muslim. **Reflection** As the reader may have noticed, the dialogue between Tom, Dick, and Harry highlights several limitations and contradictions in Christianity and Islam. Both Tawhid (the Islamic doctrine of one God) and the Trinity (the Christian doctrine of one God in three persons) raise questions about the very nature of God - God's justice, God's mercy, God's benevolence, God's omnipotence, God's omniscience, and God's omnipresence. Both Tawhid and the Trinity are based on unfounded assumptions, perhaps in an attempt to shroud the fear of death and the unknown in mystery. Beyond questions of God's existence, the concept of Heaven as detailed in the Bible and the Quran also raises questions about the nature of God - why create people who are damned to burn in Hell for eternity? Why create an afterlife at all? Why create a temporary existence of suffering and strife, only to punish people for eternity? **Sources** [^/globalThisisredditsbluntmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmgmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkm

A Christian, a Muslim, and an Atheist walk into a bar... (or, Who Goes to Heaven?)

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