If you are ever in a life-threatening situation and cannot dial 911, call Domino’s Pizza.

It was funny because I thought the headline was REAL. Until I found out that, as my husband explained to me, our pizza rings, as my dad calls them, cannot call 911. As if that would somehow work. Or maybe I actually, genuinely thought that REAL people at Domino’s Pizza were required by law to help you get out of a sticky situation if you asked them nicely enough. Either way, real headline or fake one, this prompt gave me a funny idea for a story, so here it is. *** I must have been uncomfortable for a while, because the first thing I remember is that I woke up. I was, for reasons unknown, in a back seat of a car. Tied up with some rope. No-one could actually, seriously, REALISTICALLY try to kidnap someone these days. Well, I was here, so they could. I panicked. I panicked because I was afraid for MY LIFE, and I was afraid for not knowing why my life had to, apparently, come to an end. They confused me. They didn’t shoot me in the head and leave my dead body somewhere on the street, as I had seen these psychopaths do in countless movies. All they did was keep driving in complete silence, all the while staring at me through the rearview mirror. The silence was deafening. I had never been afraid like this since…well, since my dad kicked me out. No, I didn’t become a junkie or a gang member or anything else that my dad could’ve ever predicted. But I had other plans, the plans that, apparently, noone liked. The plan was simple: I wanted us to buy a small farm just outside of Seattle. We would keep the apartment, but spend most of our summer vacation at the farm. Nothing too exotic. Nothing too complicated. I have my reasons for this. At the time, however, my dad thought I was possessed. It was a long and heated argument. Nothing was resolved, and I wound up in my car, in the middle of the road, half an hour ago, frustrated and angry. I don’t know how I wound up in their car now. It was more of a struggle to get the words out of my throat then I thought it would be, but I finally managed to say something, anything, anything that could make us talk. “Who are you?” I said. They didn’t answer. “Are you cops? FBI, or something? Do you have any idea that I am in college, I am your fucking neighbor, and my dad is…” I was desperate to get something - anything out of them, but, to my horror, they still said nothing. “Look, I don’t know what you think I did, but I’ll tell you this once. I didn’t do anything that warrants, you know, this. I just want to make a farm, for my dad!” They didn’t even move this time. Just stared at me like I was some animal or something. As if I was a cockroach that they had to, reluctantly, euthanise. “Can you please…listen to me? I’m begging you. I don’t know what I’ve done.” There was a pause this time, before they spoke. A creepy, blood-curdling pause that made my heart stop beating for a second. “What are you doing with our money?” They said. “Nothing,” I, inexplicably, responded. “I didn’t take your, your money!” They just laughed. There was something sinister about their laughter that made me feel sick in the stomach. But it also made me, to my surprise, relaxed. The silence was truly something terrifying, but when they laughed, I suddenly felt quite, strangely, at ease. “Maybe rings, send these your way!” That’s what my dad would say to me every time he could use an excuse to call me a “moron”. Some people find it rings send these your way! And there rings, send these your way! Others find it scale the darkness scale the light. But I found, as I lay there, helpless, that I found it when I hear the pizza boys! It was a funny idea actually. Maybe these psychos were too dumb to find out that our phone conversation could be used as a rings, as I liked to call it - a signal - since our smart phones were basically also smart homes and smart butlers and who knows what else. I don’t know if they ever talked about REAL Rings or REAL smart phones, but I didn’t have time to think about that. All I knew was that they still hadn’t killed me, and if I could send them a signal, it could actually work. “Look, I’m gonna, uh, order these pizzas,” I said. They just looked at me through the rear view mirror but said nothing. “Thanks,” I went on, “you know what, I want to order two pizzas. One of these will be for you.” “Chinese food I find it, Mexican food I find it! Fast food I find it, slow food I find it! But pizza, rings send these your way!” My dad laughed this once and asked me if he could put, uh, REAL Rings on my head - I just laughed and said no. There was silence again, and for some reason, I had to think about my dad this time. Maybe it was the pizza, or the faint smell of dope. The Rings definitely didn’t help, but as I laughed, I started to get…drowsy. But I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t even dare to close my eyes. I didn’t even notice this until now. Whoever these psychos were, they didn’t even take away our phones, for Christ’s sake! And I was so busy thinking about my dad that I completely forgot to call 911. I remembered that it was illegal to call 911 without an emergency. The Rings were a signal, I found out these days, but it was still illegal. When my dad went to jail, he was sure it would be for life. He was rebellious back in the day, had even gone to a rehab, so when he got arrested for possession of drugs, he knew that he was a goner. I was too young to understand the danger, but the way he talked about it, it sounded scarier than anything else. But my dad was smart, rings, as I liked to call it. He befriended a rebellious girl, about my age, the only other prisoner in this cell. She was small and stealthy, yet the look she gave him was intimidating. The look she gave me was even scarier, but I liked it. It was too much for my dad, I thought. He was, however, undeterred. He didn’t say a thing, merely shook his head and smiled like he had already put something in plan. Long story short, the girl got released, and then eventually broke into the cell. They stole a bunch of guards’ uniforms and then had a huge fight that got all the attention in the cell. In terms of blood, sweat, and tears, I’m sure it was a scale the darkness scale the light kind of situation. But all my dad needed to do was take off his gown, dress up as a guard, and, when no one was looking, get another set of prison keys. It was rings, as I liked to call it - a signal - since they could get to the other prisoners and free them, and it was sure to be a real Rings, as they called it - rebellion - when they find out that a great portion of their inmates escaped. As they fought, all my dad had to do is walk out of jail. In full view. No one ever found out who it, actually, was. Everyone was busy fighting for their lives. But I knew. And for that reason only, I was not allowed to use my, uh, Rings REAL phone for a VERY long time. I don’t know, maybe this is why it took me so long to think about it in the first place. “Hey,” I said. “Maybe I’ll just call them instead.” “Maybe you should, dumb little girl,” They said. “Maybe you should.” I didn’t even notice that we were driving through the forest. Whoever, or whatever, these people were, REAL people or not, I didn’t think about that. But I did get distracted for a second. I got distracted because, in my panic and my fear and my helplessness, I had completely forgot about my REAL phone. But rings send REAL phones your way! I picked up the phone. I called Domino’s. And then, the darkness ascended into the light. “Hello,” I said, the calmest REAL voice I’ve ever spoken. “I would like to order two large pizzas, one for, uh, here, near this street, and I will also have a small one, just for me, in this street in Seattle. You know the, uh, REAL street corner?” I said. They didn’t respond. They just looked at me through the rear view mirror and smiled. “Yeah, there. I’ll be, uh, waiting REAL soon.” “Yeah. REAL soon.” They went back to their silence, and I, somehow, REAL rings, as I liked to call it, laughed for REAL. “Can you please…listen to me? I’m begging you. I don’t know what I’ve done.” “There is only one thing that you have done,”, the girl said. I don’t know what REAL reason she had for these REAL words of REAL hate. But as I looked at her, and laughed for REAL for the first time in my REAL life, I knew that this was it. This was my chance. They didn’t even notice it.

If you are ever in a life-threatening situation and cannot dial 911, call Domino’s Pizza.

Comments (1) 1636 👁️