I hate my child and my life because of it.

I never wanted to be a mother. After years of trying, my husband and I were told we could not have children. We were heartbroken. <br>It turns out the doctor was wrong and here I am with a beautiful baby girl. <br>She came early, she’s not gaining properly, she doesn’t eat properly, she is colicky. I am so tired I have cried for three days. I hate this. I hate her. I hate everything about motherhood. I resent her for ruining my life. She isn’t even a month old yet. I feel like I can’t bond with her because I resent her so much. I don’t even want to look at her. All I want to do is sleep, but even when I do sleep, I have to set an alarm so I can drag myself out of bed to feed her. I know I won’t, though. I’ll roll over and close my eyes and go back to sleep because I just can’t do it. <br>I’m so tired I can’t function. I hate myself for feeling this way, and I hate her for doing this to me. I am in such pain and image and I am a horrible mother. I don’t even want to try to get better. <br><br>That’s how I’m feeling right now. <br><br>I love my husband, I love my dog, I hate my child.