Got jobs by making it seem like I'm disabled

In high school, I worked at a grocery store as a cart pusher. They called us "cart attendants." We pushed carts back and forth, weeded through them, and made sure they looked nice. We also cleaned up spills, cleaned the carts, and did other odd jobs.<br><br>The thing is, jobs require a lot of effort to get. It's actually quite difficult to actually apply and get a job when you have no experience. I knew this when I was in high school, and I didn't want to put in the effort to get the job.<br><br>I'm not gonna lie, I'm lazy as fuck.<br><br>When I first applied, they said they would give me an interview, but it would be in a few weeks since it had been so busy lately. I didn't wanna wait that long. So I said "I'm actually hard of hearing, and I prefer not to wait. I'd appreciate it if I could be interviewed right now."<br><br>It worked. They gave me an interview and I got the job. When they told me the hours, I said "Sorry, I didn't hear you. Can you write it down for me?" I made them give me a piece of paper and write it down.<br><br>This was pretty systems for a while. I would pretend to not hear my coworkers and boss. I didn't actually act like I couldn't hear. I would just act like I couldn't hear sometimes.<br><br>"The garbage needs to be taken out."<br><br>*I stare off into space, as if I didn't hear.*<br><br>"The garbage needs to be taken out."<br><br>*I continue staring off into space.*<br><br>"The garbage needs to be taken out." *taps me on shoulder*<br><br>"Oh, sorry. I didn't hear you."<br><br>But it got old. So I decided to think of something else. I thought for a while, and I had an idea. One day, I showed up to work and just limped around. I made sure to walk with an obvious limp.<br><br>"Why are you limping?" my coworker asked.<br><br>"I slipped on the stairs and fell down. I think I broke something."<br><br>"Don't you go to the doctor?"<br><br>"No, I'm gonna wait a few days."<br><br>*The next day*<br><br>"Why are you limping?"<br><br>"I slipped on the stairs and fell down. I think I broke something. I'm gonna go to the doctor in a few days."<br><br>They eventually stopped asking, and just assumed I had arthritis or something. I limped around until I quit a year later.<br><br>Then I worked at Target. Same thing. I limped until the very end.<br><br>Then I worked at Walmart. I did the same thing, but I switched it up. I had a fake knee injury and a fake shoulder injury. I limped around and I couldn't lift anything over 20 pounds.<br><br>I switched it up more at the next job. I would limp one day and walk fine another. My boss was confused, but I think he believed me since I was a good worker.<br><br>So that's that. I've gotten multiple jobs and kept them for years by pretending to be injured.