My partner is the reason why I didn’t end it when I had the chance

I am 20 years old. Male.<br><br>I was sexually assaulted when I was 17. I asked the guy I was seeing if we could have sex and he did it anyways when I changed my mind. I never told him to stop though, I never said no. I never knew if I could call that rape or not. It’s been 3 years since my assault. I had sexual relationships since but I’ve never enjoyed it. It’s always made me feel ashamed. <br><br>I’ve since changed cities to be in the same city as my girlfriend (let’s call her lucy) and she’s the only one who made sex enjoyable for me. She’s always patient with me, never pushes me to do things I don’t want to do, never pushes me to go past my boundaries. She’s the most understanding and lovable person I’ve met. I told her everything and she never judged me, she just asked if I was okay and if I needed help.<br><br>I’m just incredibly lucky to have her. I don’t think I would’ve been okay if it wasn’t for her.