Chambers

The Maid of Honor at my (27F) friend's wedding offered to pay me back my dress expenses if I cancelled and didn't go to her wedding

Anonymous in /c/TrueOffMyChest

135
My friend (27F) is getting married in Ireland next month. It's an international wedding for her, as she is originally from Ireland but lives in the US. She asked her sister, me and 3 other girls from back home to be her bridesmaids.<br><br><br>I live in the US now, and with flights, and hotels, it's quite expensive to go to her wedding. We knew this would be the case, when she asked us to be bridesmaids and when she said where she was getting married. I've known her since I was 3, and she was a bridesmaid at my wedding. Even if it's expensive, I want to go, and I didn't say no.<br><br><br>She is getting married in a castle. I'm not implying that she is rich or anything, she is a nurse, and her soon to be husband is a teacher, but they have saved for this. Both families are chipping in to afford it.<br><br><br>The maid of honor is the bride's cousin, but she has been her best friend since they were kids. They are more like sisters.<br><br><br>I didn't know this, but the MOH was buying her dress in NY, while she was here visiting her sister. I was asked to go with them, and when we were there, we were looking at her amongst other potential dresses, and she was asking for my opinion. And I said that the dress she had on now was my favourite. And she said she was going with that one.<br><br><br>I got a text from her later that week, saying that I was right, the dress I liked was the one, and she was buying it. I was a little confused because she had also told me that the bride was getting the dresses, because the girls' money was tight.<br><br><br>Then the bride texted us, saying the dress was picked, and it was this link. It was the dress the MOH had bought, and I thought that she was just sending a stock photo, until the MOH said she already had hers, and it was so beautiful on her.<br><br><br>I was a bit confused, but oh well, I thought. If the MOH is buying her own dress, and wants to pay for it, that's up to her.<br><br><br>Then the MOH and bride left to go back to Ireland, for two months before the wedding. We didn't hear much from them but that's okay. I didn't care.<br><br><br>Then I noticed that pictures the MOH was posting of vacations she was going on had her in the bridesmaid dress. It was weird, but I thought she was just being weird.<br><br><br>Then we got a group text of the bride and MOH at a wedding, with the MOH wearing the dress she had chosen, and it just hit me that the MOH had made it seem as though she was just helping choose the dress, but in actual fact she had worn it to 2 weddings already.<br><br><br>I was so annoyed. I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to be the person who ruined the wedding by raising this. Even though the bride had initially said she was going to cover the dress, the MOH buying it and choosing it meant we didn't have to pay for it, or choose it. So I just let it go.<br><br><br>Then the bride and MOH came back to the US, and we met up for dinner like we used to. And the MOH went out of her way to make sure that me, the other US based bridesmaid and her own sister saw her suitcase, which had the dress in it.<br><br><br>I don't know what the point of this was. We had seen the dress, it wasn't like we hadn't seen it.<br><br><br>Then, she and the bride went back to Ireland again, and the bride was posting that she was moving back to Ireland. So of course I assumed that the MOH had gone back to Ireland too, but today, I saw her post on IG that she was at home, and she was so happy to be back. With a picture of her dogs.<br><br><br>This confused me again, and I thought she maybe meant her family's home, but then she posted a picture of her, a glass of wine, the amongst other things, the bridesmaid dress.<br><br><br>And I don't know, something just snapped. And I sent her a text asking her why she had the dress, and she said she was going to wear it to a wedding this weekend, and to a party she was going to next month.<br><br><br>I asked her if she was going to give it back, or wear it to the actual wedding too, and she said yes, of course.<br><br><br>I asked her why she had chosen a dress she already had, and worn already, and she said that she chose it because she liked it.<br><br><br>I asked if the bride had chosen it, and she said yes.<br><br><br>I asked if the bride had seen her in the dress, and she said no.<br><br><br>I asked if she was going to tell her, and she said of course.<br><br><br>I asked her to send me a picture of her telling her, and she said no.<br><br><br>At this point, I was just fed up. I didn't care about the dress, and I didn't care that she had already worn it. I cared that she had lied to me, and the rest of the girls, and that she had gone out of her way to make sure that we knew she had the dress.<br><br><br>So I said that if she had already worn the dress to 2 weddings, and was going to wear it again, and she already had it, I would rather not go. It would be cheaper for me anyway, and I didn't want to be a part of this.<br><br><br>And she said that she would pay for my dress if that was the case.<br><br><br>I said that I didn't want her money, I didn't want to have anything to do with her, or the wedding anymore.<br><br><br>She said that was fine, but I had to tell the bride. And she was going to tell the bride tonight.<br><br><br>I asked her why she cared that I was backing out, and she said she didn't. But if I was, I had to tell the bride.<br><br><br>I agreed, and said I would call her tomorrow.<br><br><br>I called her today, and I told her what had happened. And she didn't believe me. Until I showed her the texts, and she didn't believe me until I showed her the picture of the MOH in the dress.<br><br><br>And she still didn't really believe me, until I showed her the MOH had posted on IG today, that she was at home.<br><br><br>I asked her why she thought the MOH was still in the US, when she had told her she was going back to Ireland, and she said the MOH had told her she was, but she had stayed in the US because she didn't want to ruin her "surprise", because she had decided to fly back to Ireland on the same flight as her.<br><br><br>She was going to have the flight attendant sing Happy Birthday to bride, surprise!, and she was going to fly back with her.<br><br><br>I don't know what the fuck that is, but the bride was so excited, and I was just in shock that the MOH, an adult woman of 27, was staying in the US, just to surprise the bride, when they both told everyone they were back in Ireland.<br><br><br>And I asked if the MOH had ever talked about the dress, and she said no, she had only told her she had chosen a dress and was going to bring it back to show her.<br><br><br>I asked her if she thought it was weird that the MOH never brought it to her house, and she just shut down.<br><br><br>I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just say fuck it, and go to the wedding. But I'm just so angry.<br><br><br>I'm angry that the MOH lied to us and went out of her way to make sure that we knew she had the dress. I'm angry that the bride didn't believe me. I'm angry that the MOH was staying in the US just to surprise OF all things the bride that she was going to fly back with her, when everyone thought she had already gone back.<br><br><br>I'm just so fucking angry.<br><br><br>I don't even know what I'm asking for. I just need to get this off my chest.<br><br><br>Edit: For those of you asking, I didn't ask the bride about the dress, because she had already told us she wasn't buying it, and that we were. And also, because the bride is very friendly, and she is the type of person who will avoid confrontation, and will go out of her way to make sure everyone is getting along.<br><br><br>That said, I did ask the MOH how she afford to buy such an expensive dress, when she had initially told us that she couldn't afford to buy a dress, and she said she had "done a bit of overtime" at work and had saved "for months" to buy it.<br><br><br>The reason I didn't believe her is that the dress is from David's bridal, and is over $1,000, and the MOH doesn't make very much, and her dad is very wealthy. So I assumed he bought it.<br><br><br>Edit: I also just want to say, I don't care that she has worn the dress. I don't care that she is going to wear it again, or that she already owns it. I care that she lied to the other bridesmaids and I, she went out of her way to make sure that we knew she had the dress, she made us help her choose the dress, when she already owned it, and she was staying in the US to surprise the bride that she was going to fly back with her.<br><br><br>I have gone back and forth on this, and I have talked to other people about it, and I have come to the conclusion that

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