I stole $130,000 from the nightclub I used to work at and it got me addicted to cocaine and heroin

I used to be a bartender at a popular nightclub in London. I ended up stealing £100,000 (~$130,000 USD) over 12 months. The club offered me a job when I was 19 and I worked there for eight years. For the first two years, I was a bartender, then I became an assistant manager and, by the time I was 25, I was managing the place.<br><br>It was an incredible venue that attracted a loyal clientele, many of whom were high-net-worth individuals. As a team, we did everything we could to keep them happy, especially the regulars. We got to know them well and, to be honest, I felt more comfortable talking to them than I did to my own friends. I have never felt like I have a way with people but I do have a way with rich people.<br><br>I used to get tipped a lot by the customers, in cash and credit, and the owners paid me a percentage of all bar sales every month. I was doing so well that I bought my own flat in central London when I was 26. It was an amazing life but, looking back, I can see how quickly my spending spirled out of control. I have never had any savings because I always prioritized enjoying my life but I was still managing. I was extremely careful with money, even after I became a manager. I didn’t waste a penny and every dollar I earned was accounted for. You can imagine my surprise when a regular customer asked me to start a tab with no deposit. I obviously refused. He was a wealthy guy who I liked a lot, so I asked why he was doing this. He said: “I don’t like carrying cash, and I don’t do credit cards, but I spend a lot of money in here. If I give you £1,000 in cash every time I come in, you can put that on the tab each time, and that way you make money too. Sound good?”<br><br>It sounded too good to be true. But after a few months, I was convinced he was going to pay me, and with my cut from the bar sales, I was able to afford all the drugs I wanted. I spent every night I wasn’t working at the club, getting high with him and his friends. By the end of the first year, they owed me £50,000. I still believed they were going to pay me. But one night I was confronted by the club’s owner. He told me that a few of the regulars had informed him that the VIP customer who gave me the £1,000 each time had not actually paid for anything. He confronted me about the missing money and I confessed. This is the part where you expect me to say I got arrested and went to prison but that is not what happened. The owner offered me a way out. He took my flat and told me that I had to pay back the remaining £30,000. Once I had done that, with interest, and had finished paying for the cost of the audit, our business would be finished. It took me a year to pay everything back. I was evicted from my flat, everything I owned was sold, and I was left with nothing. I went from living a wonderful life to having nothing. I went from being very functional to not coping at all. I became homeless and brought myself closer to death more times than I can count.<br><br>I couldn’t afford to live in London on my own so I ended up moving back to Wales, where I grew up. At first, I kept a low profile, but when I began telling people close to me, I got nothing but extremely positive reactions. The owner still runs the nightclub he built from nothing and I am sure he wouldn’t want people to know what happened. I left London the day after I was evicted from the flat I bought, the day after I got fired, the day after I lost everything I had worked towards my entire adult life. I felt like such a failure. I spent months sleeping on the floor of my parents’ living room but my mental health was getting worse and worse. After my mum took me to the hospital for an overdose, she sat me down and said she wanted to help me get my life back. I wish I had done it sooner but eventually I recognize the help I needed – a fresh start. All I had to do was say yes.<br><br>I trained as a primary school teacher and applied for over 60 teaching jobs without getting hired. I then applied for a job in Spain and had an interview on a Tuesday, with a job offer by the end of the week. It was the scars from the extremely painful parts of my life that showed me how I want to live. I didn’t want to waste another day feeling sorry for myself and now have a way to help others. When I arrived in Spain, I could barely speak the language. I knew noun phrases and basic things like “hello” but it was nowhere near enough to get me through the day. I promised myself I would learn every day, even if it was only five minutes a day. I have now been living in Spain for five years, got an amazing girlfriend, and can speak Spanish fluently. I am unrecognizable from the addict I once was. I still take drugs occasionally but only when I know I have a few days with nothing to do. Used to be a disaster waiting to happen. Now I know exactly what a disaster is.<br><br>I live with my girlfriend in a small coastal town. We are both teachers and we love our work. Whenever I think about those years in the nightclub, I lose track of my thoughts. I feel so stupid and, at the same time, I know that everything was part of learning. It has taken me years to appreciate that. It has also taken time to appreciate what I have now, instead of complaining about what I don’t have. I am not the same person I once was. I am not a victim. I am not a survivor. I am not a failure. I am not a success.<br><br>I am a person who has gone through a lot of change in a short time and has felt and learned a lot of things. I am a person who is taking responsibility for my own life. I am a person who is still growing and learning, and there are so many beautiful things I can still enjoy.