I am a professional bullshit detector, and I just had to test myself on Obama

So, I’m 1 of about 300 people in the US Government with a very niche, very important job. I’m a Detailee in the White House, and my job is to determine whether or not the President believes what he’s saying whenever he speaks. This is a REAL job, you can look it up on the State Department’s website or something, and it’s very important that we do our job well, because sometimes the POTUS is going to be saying things he doesn’t necessarily believe in or agree with. I’m sure you all remember that speech Obama gave in front of a room full of rich people where he said “I’m going to collect more of your money, because the government knows better how to spend your money than you do yourselves.” I was sitting in the back of the room for that speech, and I can tell you, the man looked like he was shitting a brick. I highly doubt he believes that (not trying to be political here, just an example).<br><br>Anyways, so I was sitting at my desk one day, working, and I got a call from one of Obama’s aides. He was going to be giving a speech, and my part was to sit in the back of the room and watch his body language to make sure he believed what he was saying. But then, the aide said something that got me really interested. <br><br>“Mr. President wants some changes to this speech” The aide said. “You’ll see what we mean once you get there.” <br><br>I walked in without really knowing what to expect. I figured Obama wanted some changes to the speech to make himself look better or something, but the aide was right, I did see what they meant once I got there. <br><br>I read through the speech, and it was just total bullshit. It was like something out of a bad movie, some seriously over the top, far out shit that sounded like it belonged in a movie. Things like “How hard do we think it will be with our super advanced technology to colonize other planets?” and “How long will it be before we can recover clean, efficient, limitless energy from our sun?” It was one of those speeches where they paint a wild, unrealistic picture of the future, and honestly I didn’t really have any problem with that. The man does have a gift for painting pictures with his words, and I’m sure it would have been a great speech and all. <br><br>But then I remembered that I had a job to do. The same job I had performed many, many times over for various government officials. <br><br>But this was the President. The man I had supported and voted for, and would continue to support. So, I decided I had to do it. I had to see whether or not he believed what was in this speech he was about to give. <br><br>I sat down in the back of the room, my heart pounding in my chest. I had done this many times before, but for some reason I was absolutely terrified this time. I had to fight to calm myself down just enough to do my job. <br><br>Finally, Obama walked out onto the stage. Being the POTUS and all, he had always looked powerful, and today was no different. He stepped up to the microphone with confidence and fluidity, adjusted his glasses, and began to speak. <br><br>And I watched. Every twitch of his lips, every movement of his eyes, every gesture he made, every word he said, every cadence of his voice. I had never seen him give a more passionate speech in his life. <br><br>He spoke about solar energy, fusion, and all sorts of other clean, limitless energy sources humanity could use to power all of the advanced technology that will be available in the far future, and for the first time in my entire career as a Detailer, I couldn’t tell whether or not the speaker believed what he was saying. I watched every detail of his body language, but it was all perfectly in line with what he was saying. Every line he spoke sounded genuine and convincing, and his tone was passionate and urgent. For a moment, I really thought this was what he believed. <br><br>But I knew that couldn’t have been it. This was the President of the United States. I would have thought he would have known better than to suggest humanity would be able to harness limitless solar energy to power cities and technology and other civilizations in the future. <br><br>But he was convincing. Oh God, he was so convincing. Every word he spoke painted a vivid picture of this utopian future humanity would have, where all our resources were limitless and clean and free to everyone, no one was hungry or sick or poor, money was unnecessary, healthcare was free, and everyone could live in harmony with the environment. At some point I had forgotten about my job and was living in the vivid picture Obama was painting of the future of humanity. <br><br>When he finished, and I was able to come back to reality, I looked and saw that every single person in the room was flush with Obama’s passionate vision for the future, including myself. I had forgotten entirely about my job as a Detailer, and the fact that I was here to make sure Obama believed what he was saying, and I can’t say I didn’t believe it. <br><br>But that was my job. I had to know. I had to know whether or not Obama believed this shit. I couldn’t just say “Oh, he gave one hell of a speech, he probably believes it.” That was not good enough. I had to know for sure, and one day I was going to have to find out.