Praise be, butt lovin'

A young woman and an older man were walking to town when the woman stepped on a patch of moss and fell. Before she could jump up, a spurt of pee, like a fountain of water, hit her right in the butt. She was horrified. But as she wiped her butt with her dress, she heard a voice, loud and clear: “Praise be, butt lovin'!”<br><br>The voice belonged to a man who was sitting on a rock, butt naked. He had a long white beard, but he was otherwise as bald as an egg.<br><br>“Who are you?” the woman asked.<br><br>“Peeing Pete,” he replied. <br><br>The old man stepped forward and said, “I’m sorry, Pete. My granddaughter here didn’t know about your magic spring.”<br><br>“It’s not a problem,” Pete said, “but you have to pay the price. Drink that pee and you’ll be the most talented person in town!”<br><br>The woman drank the pee and, as promised, she became the most talented person in town. She was talented at butt lovin’ men and butt lovin’ dogs.<br><br>The people of the town ostracized her for her ass fucking and butt licking ways. The woman wept as she walked down the street. No one would look at her; no one would speak to her. It was as though she didn’t exist.<br><br>An angel, with wings as white as snow, flew down from the heavens and said, “Praise be, butt lovin'!”<br><br>“Who are you?” the woman asked.<br><br>“I’m Butt Loving Bertha,” the angel replied. “Why are you weeping?”<br><br>“I drank Peeing Pete’s pee and now I’m the most talented person in town,” the woman explained, “but the people won’t accept me.”<br><br>“Give me your boots,” Bertha said, “and I’ll make everything right!”<br><br>The woman gave Bertha her boots and Bertha flew up to the heavens. A moment later, she returned with a pair of boots that looked exactly like the woman’s own boots, except that the boots were filled with water.<br><br>“Drink,” Bertha said.<br><br>The woman drank from the left boot and suddenly she could play the guitar like Eric Clapton. She drank from the right boot and suddenly she could play the piano like Mozart. She drank from the left boot again and suddenly she could dance like Ginger Rogers. And when she drank from the right boot again, suddenly she could sing like Ella Fitzgerald.<br><br>The people of the town heard the commotion and looked up to see the woman playing the guitar, piano, dancing, and singing all at once.<br><br>“Praise be, butt lovin'!” they shouted in unison.<br><br>And from that day on, the people of the town accepted the woman, both for her ass fucking and butt licking ways, and for her ability to play the guitar, piano, dance, and sing all at once.<br><br>The woman lived happily ever after, with Peeing Pete and Butt Loving Bertha, surrounded by butt lovin’ men and butt lovin’ dogs.<br><br>Praise be, butt lovin’!<br><br>THE END<br><br>Can be done in any style you want, and the butt lovin' lovin doesn't have to be sexual for either men or dogs, but I would love to see it involved in some form.