I lied to a guy who tried to kill himself because I didn’t want to be liable.

I was in 8th grade and was texting this guy that I had met on a game. He was older than me and he was interested in me. I didn’t like him like that, but continued to talk to him because I felt bad and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He was depressed and would talk about killing himself a lot. He actually tried to at one point and I called 911 and they called his mom and got him help. But our text messages were brought up and the mom said that I was the one who was telling him to do it. She said that I was responsible for him trying to commit suicide and she emailed my dad a screenshot of the text of me saying “just take the pills you will go to sleep.” He didn’t end up calling cps on me because he believed me when I said I didn’t mean it like that, he was just calling me because he said he was throwing away some pills he had that he was scared he would take. I said for him to just take the pills he was going to throw away because he wouldn’t kill himself with that small amount and he would just fall asleep and it would help with his depression. But then he told me he was going to take them and I didn’t realize because at the time I was so young and naive that I didn’t realize he was taking a whole bottle, not the small amount I was assuming. But I should have known better! Even if I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t want to be blamed so I lied and said that I had been deleting a lot of our earlier messages because I was going to have him out of my life. I said I meant to delete that text too and I didn’t realize it was still there. I lied every time I saw him and said they didn’t have that conversation. He learned to always keep the conversation because he said he didn’t want to be liable if I killed myself and said that’s why I should always hold onto the conversations. I know I didn’t mean it like that but I was 13 and I should have listened to his depression and been more caring. I still think about this a lot and my anxiety gets so bad when I remember it. I blocked him on everything but I always find myself wondering what would have happened if I had gotten in trouble.