AITA because I didn’t buy a cake for my daughter’s birthday party

I (40m) have a daughter (8f), Katie, who was adopted. I had a son, Sam (now deceased), who was a year older than her. My wife, Laura (39f), is a great mother and they have a good relationship even though they aren’t biologically related. <br><br>My son was killed in a tragic accident about 3 years ago, and he had a twin sister who passed away 2 days after being born. They had a tradition every year on their birthday, where we would get 3 cakes. One for Sam and one for Katie and one for Jamie (their sister). I actually loved this tradition because it went on for about 4 years and we got extremely close as a family during those times. Once Sam passed away I didn’t want to celebrate that tradition anymore. I thought he would’ve wanted us to keep doing that for his birthday<br><br>Laura found out that I didn’t get a cake for Katie’s birthday this year (I got 2, one for Sam/Jamie and one for Laura) and she went off on me, saying I was being a horrible father and ruining our daughter’s birthday. Later, Katie came in, and I asked her why she didn’t tell me she wanted a cake for her birthday. She told me that she didn’t want to take away the “special cake” for Sam and Jamie. I was so touched by that and the fact that Laura yelled at me for trying to keep Sam’s memory alive especially since his birthday was the day before Katie’s.<br><br>Am I the asshole here?<br><br>Edit: if you read this far thank you so much for all the awards and upvotes, ill make sure to update when I can, and to answer some questions, yes, we did get a cake for her the first year after Sam passed, we had a three cake setup, and Jamie got a cake this year along with Sam, but Katie didn’t