My 32(F) husband 34(M) is no longer attracted to me after I got sick

My husband used to find me very attractive. We met after he got out of the military. I was 23, he was 28. He would often tell me how much he loved my legs in dresses or how hot I looked with my hair down. When we were younger, we had loud, passionate sex in college dorm rooms and in the backseat of cars. <br><br>I remember him staring at my legs during graduation photoshoots and making me feel like a model. We have Our whole marriage, he has always complimented me. <br><br>In 2021, I started going downhill physically. I got COVID, and then I got blood clots in my brain. I've been unable to work and I mostly home now because I couldn't function at work. It's been 3 years, and I have not yet recovered. <br><br>I'm working on therapy, counseling, and getting in better shape. It's slow, and he's very patient. He still compliments me when he remembers to, but I can tell he's not attracted to me. I don't blame him. I'm very self concious of my scars and I never leave the house with my hair down anymore due to the bald spot from seizures. I used to get my hair did professionally every 2 weeks. <br><br>I'm a 32 year old woman who used to keep herself in great condition. Now I sneak in my workouts during naptime and leave the house maybe twice a week because Our child is also mentally ill and I don't leave him with babysitters. <br><br>I can see my husband doesn't want me sexually anymore. I don't want me sexually anymore either. <br><br>I do everything for him. He works full time, sometimes double shifts, and I manage everything else. The mentally ill child, the house, the dogs, the yard. I don't even know how I do everything. I take care of him. I help him with his PTSA, I remind him of his appointments and take care of all the paperwork for everything. <br><br>It doesn't matter what I do for this household though, because my body is trash. He used to look at me with heat. Now, he looks at me like his friend. <br><br>I'm trying. I really am. I want to get in better shape. But my body in the trash. I still cannot walk a mile without having a health attack. I try, though. I do everything I can, but I have to confess... I'm sad. I'm so sad that my husband isn't attracted to me. We've been married for 8 years, and we haven't been intimate in a long time. I'm just... sad. <br><br>It's not him, it's me. I know that. It just feels bad as we age. I got older, my body got weaker, and I'm not what I used to be. It's hard to see our friends prosper and get in better shape when they're older. My husband has abs again after working in an office for years. It sucks feeling like I'm the only one who got a gut. <br><br>I know why he isn't attracted to me, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts being ignored after being wanted your whole life.