AITA for getting angry with my friend for getting upset with me when she couldn't come over for dinner and wanted me to go to her house instead?

So this is a problem I've had with my friend for a while now, and we're both getting tired of it.<br><br>She will invite herself over, but never says that she will be coming over, just shows up at my house unannounced. We've been friends for about 2 years, but she knows me long enough to know that I'm a bit particular about the men in my life. (I'm single mom in my 30's with 2 kids. 16 and 13, and have been single for 7 years now.) So when she shows up unannounced, I start worrying about my son and how she will take to my son's possessive boyfriend who moved in with us for the semester while his family is out of the country. Or any other random guys that she might see when she shows up.<br><br>We've had a few issues in the past where I end up having guys over that I don't necessarily want her to see, and it causes problems. (For example: she was there once when I had my brother and his friend come over. I let them know ahead of time that she was there, but she got upset because she was uncomfortable around my brother's friend, so she ended up going home. But that left me with a big scene being made because my brother didn't appreciate me sending him home because of my friend.)<br><br>So now I've stopped just letting her show up. I have to invite her now, which she doesn't like, but I feel better about it.<br><br>The last time we had an issue was when I invited her over last weekend, but I had to tell her that I couldn't come downtown until 7:30. I had to stay till 10 that night because I was covering for a friend. So I told her I would just get the food ready till she got there and that she could heat it up when she got there. She got really upset with me about that, which I didn't understand. So I asked her what the issue was. Then she proceeded to go on a rant about how I was being a single mom and couldn't understand what it was like to have responsibilities like taking care of 2 little kids all day and how I was being unfair. (I do have a husband in my real life, but he works overseas and is only here about 3 months out of the year for the last 10 years. He's here now so I will tell him how she acted because I didn't fully explain it to her.)<br><br>So I asked her to explain what I did was wrong. She told me that she didn't want to come over and heat up left overs. That she wanted me to cancel my plans and stay home so she could have food that she wanted. (She is 38 years old and has 2 kids. Like me.) She said I was being unfair to expect her to heat up left overs. That I was being mean. I asked her if she even came over, and she said no. So I asked her what part of the day would be better for her. She said she wouldn't be able to come over till 7:30. So I told her I had to leave then too, and that I would be going where she couldn't come. She got pissed at me for that.<br><br>Then she told me I was being an asshole for expecting her to work around my plans. I got pissed and asked her if this is how she interacts with people or if she just does things differently being a single mom? She has a husband, by the way. So I think the single parent thing isn't it.<br><br>She hasn't talked to me since Sunday night, and I haven't talked to her since I told her I was done talking and to go away.