i stole a cops gun

so a little background, first off, im in new york state and we had an incident called the buffalo botanical gardens incident, it was basically a run of the mill cop calling out but they held a convicted mass shooter for about half an hour in the cop car before they finally took him away. meanwhile, cops from a few cities had come but held their guns down and werent wearing tactical or bomb gear and mostly werent even wearing body armor. i was watching this livestream with my dad and he said how it “crazy how cops are so comfortable around “active shooters”” as it didnt look like any kind of situation to be taking lightly. i said how their jobs kind of suck but then gave a run of the mill cops suck comment, he said how they are still humans and deserve a little respect. fast forward 15 or 16 hours to me thinking about this conversation again and how i just cannot stand that cops or authority of any kind are still humans to me when anything i say or do can or has landed me in the hospital and nearly killed me. i cant explain why, but for some reason, my mind just snaps when cops or any authority try to talk or interact with me, particularly if theyre “trying to be my friend” or something along those lines. so fast forward some more to earlier today when i was out and about again and saw a police officer, a higher up in rank, but cannot remember what exactly, so lets just call him a detective since thats what it sounded like to me. anyway, im kinda just minding my own business when i hear “hey [me] hows it going”, i turn around “hey [cop] :3”, why i added an emoji is def kind of weird and to be honest i never do that, but it just did it for some reason and maybe it was kind of a test to see how hes going to react, idk. anyway he, obviously, seemed pretty confused and said “thank you” and i said “your welcome”, and for lack of a better phrase, i fucking spooked him so bad, to the point where his entire demeanor shifted. anyway, somehow i got recommended this app by a random person named “whore” so i clicked on it and sent a message, him and i began talking and he seemed pretty nice and then he said i could follow him on snapchat, i did and he and i hit it off pretty well and he and his cousin, who i also met later on, are pretty cool people, so i run upstairs to my cousins room and say “hey [cousin], i stole something and i dont want my parents or grandma finding it” and i showed him the gun and the message i got. he didnt seem to really react so i was a little shocked at first, but he and i have done way weirder shit before. anyway, kind of off topic but he and i did some more crazy shit earlier this year and im not sure how comfortable hes talking about it, so i won’t go into details. anyway, back to the story, so i get a text from zoop and he and i and his cousin all meet up and we go to this abandoned road that is basically surrounded on all sides by woods, and there is a little structure who knows what its used for, but it was a little building that was pretty much fully in tact. anyway we go in there and do some drugs, snort some xanax and drink a little bit, do some shots, so on and so forth. anyway, flashfoward to a little bit later and zoop and i are sitting in the car alone talking about the best ways to get high and i mentioned that i had kind of tried embalming fluid before, and i dont know why, but its been kind of on my mind recently and i somehow managed to get some which was funny. anyway he seemed really interested and i gave him a cigarette with a drip of it, he said he didnt like it so i just smoked the rest, and after a few minutes i recommended that zoop go check out the building again because it seemed “pretty cool” in my opinion. he and i walk him back to the car and he gets in and the car backs up a little and then drives away. he then calls me and says something along the lines of “im coming back, im just gonna get some pcp, ill be right back” anyway, he and i meet up and we go to this abandoned apartment complex, he has this owner who was a former addict that had gone sober for about a year, recently relapsed and started selling, but he also only sold with pcp because he said he didnt really like it. anyway, he meets us and i ask him about buying some pcp and he and i get talking and he and i are like two peas in a pod, so on and so forth, anyway zoop says “hey [me] a question for you”, mind you the owner had already left and we were discussing something but i dont remember what. anyway, zoop goes on and says how this apartment complex is one of his favorite parts of town because it has a little pathway you can walk and how he likes taking new people there because its a kind of special place but he says “i think this is the first time… thats not the reason im taking someone here” and i said “thats okay, its nice” anyway, he goes on and says hes “sorry but im going to do something im not gonna like, but i dont know the right way to do it” and he pulls out the officer and he jabs himself in the leg with it and pulls it out, and i tell you this because he didnt die, but hes been in the hospital for about three days already and theyre saying hes going to be there for a little while longer. anyway zoop goes on and says that he wont be out for a “little while” and that hes “sorry” and i said “dude no need to be” and he said “like yeah ok” anyway we do a few more hits and he has to go to the emergency room, and during all of this i might add, had the gun on me, in my bag, and i walked into the hospital, he was with a lot of family and they were all confused about what was happening with him and i just said hi and then left, and nobody seemed to think anything of it and nobody apparently checked me or anything. anyway, i go home and there is a few drug raids in the city and i hear talk that im wanted but i dont have any evidence in front of me so i cant say for certain, all i know is i have somehow managed to not get caught and im still holding onto the gun.