AITA for calling my wife hysterical for her reaction to having to take care of my mother in law?

My (31) country has reached the point where if you are over 65 and need assistance, it is automatically put on the youngest daughter/son to take care of you. This can be nursing home care, at home assistance, anything. <br><br>My mother in law is an extremely pleasant woman. I love her and she accepts me as part of the family. She is currently going through a period of time where she needs help with a few things. Up until this point it wasn't me but will be as of 1st of December, as my sister in law and her husband are moving to another country for 18 months. I have no problem with this at all. I love my in laws, and hold them very dear. They didn't mind that either, they were very accepting of the situation.<br><br>My wife and I sat down to discuss how we will manage to balance everything. I will have to travel 45 mins every morning to my in laws, she will have to drop me off. I will be online for work, I will study part time, I will do all the housework, and care for my mother in law. I will use the days I am at my in laws to study and work online, and do all the housework. I will also help her with anything she needs, bathes, going to the grocery store, I will make meals for us and she will heat them up when I return. I will also help her out if my mother in law needs anything during the night. The only times I will be back home before my wife heads to work is if I am doing something around the house or if my mother in law needs me.<br><br>I do all of the housework as I have judged my wife's time to be more valuable than mine. I also do 100% of the cooking. My wife has refused to lift a finger in helping around the house since we got married, so I decided it was time to end that. She has an extremely well paying job and spends a lot of time at work, not to mention studying part time. Why would I have her come all the way back home from work, during the hottest part of the day (12-4pm), to vacuum my house? <br><br>I would also prefer my mother in law not be alone during the day, she is elderly and it is as much my responsibility to her as it is to my wife. I want her to have someone to speak to, and I want someone to make sure she is alright. I have spoken to her, and she is very under the impression that I will be "usuring" her parents house. I had to explain to her, as my wife refused to, that it is not optional to visit your mother every day, it is your mothers right to have you by her side.<br><br>After our discussion, I left her parent's house to head home and she broke down into tears. I tried to hug her and calm her down, but she screamed at me to let go of her, and screamed off to basements to "dye shit up". I just stood there like a chicken, as I didn't know what to do. I finally went into the basement, and my wife accused me of abandoning my mother in law. I refuted that, as my mother in law is no burden to my parents. I suggested we discuss it, she yelled at me again, and told me I was an asshole for abandoning her mother. I stood there, as dumb as shit, and tried to explain to her I was at home, 15 mins down the road. I had already done 100% of the housework, and had made all our meals for the week and my wife finally blew up at me. She told me I was a fucking idiot, and I was taking advantage of her parents kindness. I stood there dumbfounded, as she flailed around me like a fool, before I called my parents and had her calmed down. They took her home, and told me they would deal with her tantrum throwing.<br><br>I did come home from work though, to my brother and sister in law laughing at the post I had written on r/AmItheAsshole, so kudos to the guy who gave me +10 gasem. I will be posting his message on my fridge for all to see.