My (34F) husband (34M) doesn’t like my appearance when I’m pregnant

I don’t know where else to post this, I posted this on chambers 6 months ago. I didn’t want to post on TikTok or Twitter or anywhere that my husband could see, because he checks those sites daily. <br><br>So I posted in a Chambers pregnancy community and I got a lot of advice and comments on how my husband’s behavior is not ok, and they agreed that this is abuse, that I should not tolerate his behavior. I want to reiterate that I want to agree with them. I want to say that he’s right and that I should stop having children, but I just can’t. I already have 2 children, and my husband and I have always said we would have 4 children. There’s just something inside of me that tells me that I need to do this. I’ve talked to my husband about this, and he’s told me that my body is my choice, that I should do what I want, but he’s also told me that he will not be pregnant with our children. <br><br>My husband is also terminally ill, stage 4, and is going through chemo and has been told that he has less than a year. This is so painful to live in, and I feel like I need to prioritize our children and not upset him.<br><br>He gets upset when I’m pregnant. He has thrown a few punches at my stomach in the past. I don’t know what to do, and I know it’s not ok, but I don’t feel like I have the strength to continue this pregnancy and have a safe birth for myself or our baby, and I also feel like I don’t have the strength to continue this relationship, especially when we have two more children together that we also want to raise. <br><br>I’ve been feeling like I’m living in a bad dream and I can’t wake up. I feel like my husband is gaslighting me, and that I should want to leave him, but I don’t, I can’t, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I just want to wake up and feel like everything is ok, but it’s not. My husband and I are currently in therapy together and I have individual therapy. I’ve talked to my OB/GYN, my PCP, and I’m going to talk to a counselor tomorrow.<br><br>I don’t know what to do, but I need advice. Advice on what to do with my husband would be great. Advice on how to keep living in the present moment would be amazing. I’m constantly feeling overwhelmed and I just can’t escape this reality I’m living in. <br><br>ETA: I just wanted to clarify that my husband is not kicking me or punching me at all anymore. I just mentioned it because it was something that happened in the past, and I wanted to include it in the whole narrative of my relationship and my husband’s abuse towards me. I don’t think it’s healthy or fair to leave out that part, because it does paint a picture of how my marriage is.