My (39/m) husband has threatened to kill me and my kids if he goes to prison

I have never been in such a dangerous position in my life.<br><br>My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 2 children together (7 & 8). We have been having a lot of problems in our marriage. A few years ago he tried to kill himself and all he wanted was me to love him. I love him but I don’t know if I can love him enough. He is emotionally abusive and makes me feel like I’m the one that needs to try harder. We go to counseling but he doesn’t listen to the advice we are given. It seems like no matter what I do it is never good enough. He makes a lot of money so he thinks he can control me financially.<br><br>Things have been getting worse for us. He was arrested a few weeks ago and I had to bail him out of jail. He was very mad I only put up $200 of the $1000 to get him out. He was screaming at me that I didn’t love him and he would be in prison for a long time and I didn’t care. He was sulkiness over him me not putting up more. I was trying to find a way to get a loan but he just kept making remarks about how I wasn’t trying to help him.<br><br>I ended up having to borrow money from my sister to post his bail. As soon as we got back to our home, he started going through my sister’s purse and throwing everything on the floor. He was screaming at me that I only love my sister and not him. It scared her kids who were at our home and they started crying.<br><br>He goes to work every day but is not in a good mood. He is still mad I borrowed money from my sister to get his bail. And he has made threats if he ends up in jail that I will never see him again alive if I don’t help him. I’m serious folks. I take this very seriously. I’m scared of him and I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of hiding money from him so I can put it towards an attorney just in case. I’m thinking of hiding it in my car at work or somewhere he will never think of looking.<br><br>I’m 100% sure my sister won’t let me pay her back back. And I have a job where I can afford to take care of the kids on my own but I’m not sure if it will be enough. The threat he made if he ends up in jail scares me a lot. I’m scared if he is imprisoned and I don’t have money sent to him that he will do something to my children.<br><br>I’m not sure what to do. I want to leave him and I know it will break my children but I don’t want them to see me divorce him. I don’t want them to think they are responsible. But I’m scared if he ends up in jail I won’t be able to protect myself or our kids. I’m scared to even leave the house.