I (34m) have a shocking and frightening confession to make to my wife (33f)

My wife and I have been married for 8 years now. We are the proud parents of 3 children.<br><br>Our relationship is excellent. My wife is my very best friend. She’s the most supportive and loving person in my entire world. I love her more than life itself.<br><br>I am not sure how to word this, or say this in the way that I mean so bear with me. But for the last 2 weeks, ever since the Baby was born, I have been obsessed with my wife’s Pregnancy. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, now her body is back to normal size after carrying our child. Don’t get me wrong, I love her more than anything and her beauty doesn’t matter to me. She could be the size of me and it wouldn’t affect my love for her.<br><br>But for some reason, since the Baby was born, all I can think of is how she looks back when she was pregnant with our son. Every time I close my eyes, I see the pictures of her. Every time I see her, I only see her old self. I feel like my entire existence now is just to pretend nothing is wrong, and continue with my new life when my wife cramps up to the size of a fully developed pregnancy in mere weeks. <br><br>I know this sounds crazy, but she looks amazing. She really really does. Every time I see her, it’s like looking at my wife again. She’s so pretty. I feel so guilty when I think about how I feel. But my heart is racing whenever I see her now. It’s like seeing her for the first time.<br><br>But I also feel incredible guilty every time I think about this. I know that I’m cheating on my wife with the new version of her. I feel like I have lost all our years together. Every memory we’ve made, every single thing she’s ever done, feels like a waste of my time.<br><br>I’m in deep pain. I’m so confused and I don’t know how to tell my wife how I feel. Every time I look at her, I feel like I want to run as fast as I can. I know she’s still the same woman I’ve loved so much.<br><br>But I don’t know how to get rid of this obsessive feeling I have. I know I’m cheating on her, but I just can’t control this.<br><br>I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself. I don’t know what to tell my wife. I don’t know if I should even be allowed to.<br><br>I just feel like my entire existence is over. I don’t want to spend one single moment with the new version of my wife. I feel so terrible, but I’m in too much pain to cry.