I am not a woman

As a woman, I'm tired of all the bitchy women in my life. My sister-in-law, my husband, my mom and sister. They are all bitches. <br><br>I don't get it. I know I'm a piece of shit, and I hate myself, but I try to be a decent person, and be kind, and genuine, and understanding, and forgiving, and I don't understand why so many women can't be like that. <br><br>I feel like I have to put on a mask and pretend to be someone I'm not all the time, to avoid being judged and ostracized. I'm just trying to be myself, but nobody wants to like me, nobody wants to be my friend. I'm just a piece of shit, and I don't deserve it.<br><br>I've tried so many things to change myself. I've tried therapy, and I've tried different hobbies and interests. But nothing ever seems to work, and I feel like I'm just wasting my time. <br><br>I know I'm not a complete piece of shit. I'm not as bad as I think I am. I have a lot of good qualities. But I feel like I can never be myself, and I'm just stuck in this endless cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing.