How to get out of this incel hell?

I’m 19 and have no girlfriend, friends, and not even family. My dad died when I was young and my mom doesn’t want me. I’m so lonely, I wish I was dead.<br><br>I try to make an effort and talk to people, but they all see me as pathetic and weak, they don’t even take me seriously. I’ve tried to talk to girls, but I’ve never even been on a date before. I’m a total virgin. I’m so scared of getting a girlfriend, I don’t want to lose what I already have.<br><br>I’ve always felt like I was inferior to others. I have a big nose and a fat stomach, I have acne, and my eyes are small. I’m not good-looking. I’ve always felt like I was worthless, like I didn’t deserve love or happiness.