Is it a good idea to use a pistol crosswise to kill yourself?

My ex-husband used to be a suicide victim. I know how much pain it hurts. I’m not trying to promote suicide, but I’d like to know what would be a better gun for this situation. I’ve thought about it before but never did anything. I’m 32 years old now. I have no children. I’m a male. I have no family. I’m an American citizen. I’m single. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m a loner. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have a job. I’m unemployed. I live in an apartment with no family. I don’t have a car. I live in an urban area. I don’t own any firearms. I live alone. I have no pets. I have no hobbies. I’m a loner. I’m single. I’m an American citizen. I’m 32 years old.