Watching porn where women are getting hurt

To clarify I don’t mean non consentual assault but stuff where women have been consensual hurt. Like when a woman is getting choked and she starts to pass out mid way<br><br>I’m sorry but what hell is wrong with me. <br><br>I’m ashamed and worried do you think there is anyone to help me. I don’t want this kind of porn and I hate myself for watching it but I keep doing it.<br><br>I’m worried about my future wife or girlfriend. What hell is wrong with me