AITA for calling my daughter a snowflake?

So yesterday my daughter came home from school in an emotional mess. She had been called out in front of the class by the teacher for not participating in an activity that the rest of the group was doing. When she asked why she has to participate the teacher said it’s required and it’s part of her grade along with the other kids in her group. She told the teacher she didn’t feel like doing it.<br><br>The teacher told her she needed to participate or she would get in trouble for disrupting the other kids. This led to an argument between the teacher and my daughter. The teacher told me my daughter called her a bitch which I apologized for and told my daughter she needs to respect her teachers along with everyone else. She went on to tell me that the teacher was “killing her individuality and trying to turn her into a sheep, along with the rest of the class.”<br><br>I told her everyone has to do things they don’t want to do in life which led to her calling me a “patriarchal asshole.” My son heard her and laughed which resulted in her calling him a “patriarchal assholes.”<br><br>I told her to go to her room and cool off for a while, then I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. A short while later my wife came home from work and asked me what was going on with our daughter. I told her everything that happened, from what she told me about what went on at school to what had been going on at home. My wife told me I should support my daughter more, and that I should have stood up for her and called the teacher a bitch for picking on her.<br><br>I told her to be serious, the teacher wasn’t picking on our daughter she just wouldn’t do her work. My wife told me I was invalidating my daughter’s feelings and I was being “sexist and misogynistic.” I told her she was being ridiculous and blowing this way out of proportion.<br><br>When our daughter came out of her room she went straight to her car, which my wife and I bought for her and drove off to who knows where. My wife said it was my fault for calling her a snowflake, and that I should have called the teacher a bitch and stood up for my daughter.<br><br>I don’t think I was in the wrong here. My daughter started the argument with the teacher by not doing her work. Also I don’t think it’s my job to go on some sort of crusade for my daughter every time she has a problem with someone. <br><br>Update: I decided to call the school to see what they had to say about this incident. The principal told me that my daughter was spitting on kids in her class and hitting them. He told me she had been doing this for quite some time and this was the third time he had called me about this. He also told me that she was caught vaping in class and that she was caught stealing lunches from other kids. When I asked my wife about all of this she told me she had no idea what I was talking about.<br><br>Now I’m really worried about my daughter and I don’t know what to do about her.