My blind boyfriend has a girlfriend he doesn’t know about

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend Steve for three years.<br><br>Steve is a great guy. He’s eighteen, like me, and is in his first year of college. When he was a kid, he used to love rock climbing, surfing, and doing dangerous stuff like that. He’s not doing any of it anymore. <br><br>He got in an accident while surfing. Part of his head got smashed by a surfboard, and he can’t see anymore. <br><br>I met him in high school, and we’ve been going out ever since. I know it might seem weird to you, but I really like him. I like the fact that I get to take care of him sometimes. I like the fact that he’s braver than pretty much anyone I know. I like the way he makes me laugh. <br><br>And I also like the fact that he’s blind. <br><br>I know how terrible it sounds. But I just can’t help it. I know that I would never be able to hurt a blind person. And that makes me feel safe. <br><br>You see, when I was a kid, my parents used to host these dinner parties where all of their friends came over and we ate a lot and had a good time. And sometimes, I’d be really mean and play on their insecurities. I’d make a fat guy cry by telling him how big he was, I’d tell a small-breasted woman that she didn’t look “feminine” enough, that type of stuff. <br><br>As you can probably tell, I was a very mean kid. I was mean to everyone. The fat kids in school, my own parents, even random people we ran into. <br><br>My parents thought I needed therapy. Looking back, I guess they were probably right. I was in therapy for a few years. <br><br>But it only got worse. I was mean to my therapists, I was mean to my classmates, I was mean to my teachers. I was even mean to little kids at the park sometimes. <br><br>One day when I was twelve, I was out with my mom and I saw this woman with a big birth mark on her face. She was with her boyfriend, and they looked like they were having a good time. <br><br>I was about to make fun of her when I saw her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was a blind person. I had never seen a blind person up close before, but I knew right away that he was blind from the white cane next to him. <br><br>That’s when it hit me. If I ever said anything to her, her boyfriend would hear me. And since he was blind, he wouldn’t know I was bad. He’d probably think that I was the bad one, and who knows what he’d do to me, right? <br><br>I didn’t say anything. And that realization stuck with me for the rest of my life. <br><br>Even now, when I see a blind person, I see a police officer. I see a sign from God telling me to shut up. And when I’m around Steve, I feel safe. <br><br>I feel like I can’t hurt anyone. <br><br>I’m not a good person. But when I’m with Steve, it feels like I am. <br><br>So I stuck with him, and we had a happy relationship. At least I think it was happy for both of us. <br><br>Steve seemed happy enough. And I felt happy. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I didn’t hurt anyone. <br><br>But it was all just an act, and deep down, I knew it. <br><br>I didn’t know how long I could pretend to be someone else, and how long I could keep this relationship from collapsing. <br><br>But I was going to try my best. <br><br>That’s why I wasn’t surprised at all when I found out that he had another girlfriend. <br><br>It started with little things. He started whistling. He never whistled before, because he hated whistling. He thought it was obnoxious. <br><br>But one day, he started whistling. He didn’t even realize he was doing it. <br><br>Another thing he did was that he started telling me less about his day. Usually he’d tell me everything about how his day was, where he went, what he did, who he met. <br><br>But recently he’d just give me a simple answer like “My day was fine”. <br><br>I wasn’t mad. I figured that he was just in a bad mood. <br><br>But one day I found out that he was cheating on me. <br><br>I was in one of his classes. I wasn’t registered for it, but I like to sometimes sit in the classes that he’s in. I like to hear him talk sometimes. <br><br>I was sitting at the back, hiding. He didn’t know I was there, and I preferred it that way. <br><br>I saw some blonde girl go up to him. He looked up at her, and smiled, and talked to her. He talked to her for a long time. <br><br>The class started in a few minutes. I just stood up and walked out. I didn’t want to see it. <br><br>The rest of the day, I felt strange. I felt bad. I was hurt that he could do that to me. <br><br>But I knew that, deep down, I wasn’t hurt at all. <br><br>I was relieved. <br><br>I didn’t have to pretend anymore. I didn’t have to be a good girl. <br><br>And that night, I decided to break up with him. <br><br>I did it by text. It was a long text, and I won’t bore you with the details. It was your average break up text from a girlfriend who caught her boyfriend cheating. <br><br>But I ended it with a twist. <br><br>“How could you do this to me? How could you cheat on blind girl like me? Do you have any shame at all?” <br><br>I know that it was completely over the top. I have to admit, I’m not the most emotionally stable person out there. <br><br>But after sending that text, I felt good. I felt better than I had ever felt before. <br><br>I felt like I could do anything. <br><br>I didn’t feel like a good girl. <br><br>But I felt like me. <br><br>And that was good enough.