i want to see what my abusive ex is doing but also want to avoid him forever

my abusive ex and i broke up two years ago then he got married<br>i am remarried and pretty happy in life now but there are times when i feel nostalgic for him<br>god knows why but i do<br>i bet we would have a lot to talk about<br>but i want to stay away from him too<br>it’s a weird feeling<br>i just wish i could see him and like him and not love him<br>is that weird?