The violence of patriarchy is far more of a threat than Covid, climate change or anything else.

I am afraid I’m going to get downvoted to hell, but I just need to express my feelings on this topic as I still fail to understand why anyone can doubt this. I grew up in central Asia, a country with patriarchal norms, culture and customs. <br><br><br>I see a lot of comments here saying that all men are not bad, that this isn’t a war between men and women etc. I don’t see this as a war between men and women at all. I see this as a war between those who want equality, justice, freedom and respect and those who don’t want this.<br><br>I have lived in three different countries and seen various forms of patriarchy. Living in a highly patriarchal country as a woman, you face various forms of gender-based violence every day, whether you want to admit this or not. Patriarchy has been the norm for thousands of years, so often you don’t even realize you are in a system of oppression, like the frog in boiling water.<br><br>A few examples: When I was a little girl (6-7 years old), my father used to often beat my mother in front of me and my younger brother. At that time nearly all the parents I knew used to beat their kids and wives, so I thought that was completely normal. I also got beaten by my father and sometimes my mother too. I don’t have a single friend who wasn’t beaten by their parents. I had no idea this was a form of abuse until I moved to live in another country in my late 20s. I’m still trying to heal from this emotional trauma as an adult.<br><br>When I was 13 my math teacher asked me to meet him in the staff room alone saying that he wanted to discuss my test results. I went and he tried to rape me. I don’t know how I managed to escape, but I remember feeling afraid of telling my parents as they might blame me for this instead of him. This happened in the 90s and I was just a kid, so I didn’t even know what rape was. I just knew that this wasn’t right. I didn’t tell this to anyone for years afraid of being blamed. I don’t know how many other girls he did the same thing to.<br><br>My mom is in her 60s, her dad died when she was only 5 and her brother who was 12 at that time was allowed to study instead of her. She was forced to drop out of school and be a stay-at-home child with no access to education and take care of her younger siblings. She was never allowed to leave her house or go out with friends. She was married at the age of 22.<br><br>My dad’s brother married a girl who was 16 years old when he was in his 40s and had three kids already. This was in the 80s, but I guess this can still happen today. As you might expect, he worked for the government, was rich and had a high social status.<br><br>When I was around 13, one of my classmates had no choice but to marry someone twice her age as her family was too poor to feed her. She was forced to drop out of school and never attend college. Who knows if she would have wanted to attend college. She was a bright student. She was married at 13 to a man who had another wife and kids already and was probably older than my dad. I don’t know how many other girls or women he married. I never heard of this from anyone else, but I personally witnessed this and knew the girl. To this day, no one knows what happened to her and where she is now. This also happened in the 90s. I don’t know how many other girls were married to adult men at a very young age.<br><br>These are just a few examples among many. When I see people saying that patriarchy isn’t a big threat, I get really lost as to why they might think this. They probably don’t live in highly patriarchal countries, don’t realize how society functions or don’t have personal experiences. I have worked in finance for many years and seen various forms of patriarchy. When you are a woman, you have to constantly prove yourself, work much harder and put in much more effort to be recognized in the male-dominated environment.<br><br>I also understand that patriarchy is a threat for men too, but the consequences are more severe for women. Women can be killed or beaten to death, get acid thrown on their faces and be victims of domestic violence, rape and murder etc. Male suicide rates are higher, but suicide rates are higher in countries where patriarchy and toxic masculinity are encouraged. When you see suicide rates by gender in countries with high levels of gender equality like Iceland or Finland, you can see that there isn’t a big difference in suicide rates between the two genders. Similarly, men also face violence, but it is mostly by the hands of other men, not women. Men also face violence and abuse from their moms, wives and sisters, but this is not the norm and men are much less likely to be victims of violence than women.<br><br>I have seen many people saying that men have no right to talk about their issues as victims of patriarchy. This is completely unacceptable to me as it is a form of patriarchal behavior (excluding and invalidating others). It’s a form of gaslighting. <br><br>The reason why the suicide rate is higher for men is because traditional masculine norms do not allow men to discuss their feelings, be vulnerable and show emotions. They are discouraged from talking about their vulnerabilities and seeking help. Women are considered weak if they can’t talk about their vulnerabilities, but men are considered weak if they do. Men are also discouraged from expressing emotions as this may make them appear less masculine. Because of these patriarchal norms, men can’t express their vulnerabilities, are less likely to seek help and admit to having mental health issues. Because of patriarchal norms and toxic masculinity, they are more likely to engage in risky behaviors, drink more and do drugs. I have personally seen many men doing drugs, taking drink and drive and doing reckless behaviors which can be explained by patriarchal norms and toxic masculinity.<br><br>My point is, I don’t get why some people doubt that patriarchy is the greatest threat humanity faces today, much more than Covid, climate change or anything else. Not only women but also men face various forms of abuse and violence by patriarchy. I am trying to understand why people doubt this as personally I have experienced this in many different countries, witnessed this, seen this happening to family members, friends and classmates and tried to do my own research on this topic. I am happy to learn about other people’s opinions, personal experiences and findings.