I’ve been faking orgasms to get my boyfriend to stop

This is embarrassing so I’m not telling my bf’s name, his age (22) or my age (19). <br><br>I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. At first, he was a very caring, attentive and loving boyfriend in and out of bed. He made sure I enjoyed every moment of intimacy. I have never faked an orgasm with him before. <br><br>About 3 months ago however, he started to change. The first time I noticed something was wrong was when he came back from hanging out with his friends. His energy was completely different that night and he was extremely turned on. When we moved to his bed, he began to get very rough. He was pulling my hair and holding me down. I honestly didn’t enjoy the experience. <br><br>I brushed it off thinking it was just a one time thing and he would go back to his normal self. <br><br>It wasn’t. <br><br>Every time we had sex, he got more and more rough. He stopped checking in with me to see if I was okay. I have tried talking to him about it, more than once. He promises to be better and he doesn’t. <br><br>I’ve tried initiating the act. I thought maybe he got rough because he was too turned on to control himself, so I tried initiating and hanging on to the control during. Nope, same thing. <br><br>The next day, I would tell him how the experience was not fun for me at all. He would say he’s sorry, and that I make him so turned on he can’t help himself. <br><br>Then he started doing things without my consent. He started slapping my butt REALLY hard, to the point it was VERY painful and I would ask him to stop. He did not. <br><br>Then he started choking and grabbing my throat. I would try to stop him and he wouldn’t. I have even tried holding his hands and moving them and he still tries. Only until I say no really loud does he stop. <br><br>He has also been penetrating me very aggressively, which hurts and I do not enjoy. <br><br>Every time I bring it up he says he’s sorry and he’ll try to get better, he promises, and then he never does. <br><br>I decided to start faking orgasms. I figured that would make him get off faster and stop. It honestly worked. He would get off faster and the experience would be overall a lot better. I have since stopped faking orgasms however, after I realized it gave him excuses to keep doing what he’s doing. <br><br>Whenever I talk to him about it, he says it’s not that bad, because I clearly enjoyed it. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. <br><br>I want to leave him but idk.