Boyfriend (30M) wants me (30F) to keep my legs closed during intimacy because I squeeze too hard during orgasm

I'm having a hard time finding information on this and am embarrassed to ask my too friends so here I am.<br><br>I have always been a very lucky gal when it comes to orgasm. I have always been able to almost "squeeze" my way into orgasm. This would happen with a decent amount ofPorn, touching, and even in a bath by myself. I don't even have to do anything to be honest, my legs just tighten and BAM. ( I'm sure I should've been more clear, the squeezing is also due to me having PC muscle spasms which I have always taken as a sign an orgasm is on it's way, I wasn't previously aware that this was not "normal")<br><br>When I was with my ex-husband, he would often comment on how my squeezing made it harder for him to finish. He said it just felt like my pussy was "choking" the head of his penis. From what he said it sounded very painful, so when I met my bf of 6 months I made a conscious effort to be more relaxed (I was also in marriage counseling with my ex so I was in a whole mind space).<br><br>So here's the thing: I can not orgasm face to face in the missionary position. I just can't. For some reason when I'm on my back, and a man is on top of me, I just can't make it happen. I tried with my ex and my current boyfriend. They have both been patient with me and we try different things to help me get off, but honestly it just doesn't work. My boyfriend has started being standoffish to intimacy. Saying he doesn't want to "help me cum" because it doesn't feel good. Now, in the beginning when we were still figuring out each others likes and dislikes, I was unaware he didn't like my "squeezing". He knows that my bf and I both have PC muscle spasms because we've even triggered them in each other. I've asked him what he likes, and he says he prefers slow, passionate love making. I've tried that as well. I've been squeezing my PC muscles during the day so I'm more relaxed. I just can't seem to not squeeze.<br><br>Last night he went off on me saying I had no control over my body. How he wants me to stop squeezing and clenching so hard while we're being intimate. That I should figure out a way to not cum so hard. That he wants intimacy, not emotionless fucking that he could get anywhere. He says he doesn't expect me to be emotionless, but he wants me to not close my legs so tight. When he says all this he seems very upset and it crushes me. He's told me he's in pain when we're intimate, and that he's not enjoying it because of the pain. I want nothing more than to make him happy but I fear I may never be able to please him?<br><br>TLDR: My boyfriend (30M) is complaining about intimacy being painful because when I (30F) cum, my vagina gets too tight<br><br>UPDATE: <br>Holy. Moly. You all blew me away! I can not even begin to thank you for all the information you've provided! My bf and I sat and read through a ton of these comments together this morning and we're going to meet in the middle. I explained to him that squeezing is something that happens naturally and is something I can't always control. I told him it's not intentional and if I could control it I would. He said he understood. Before I read through all these comments we did a little experiment. I rode him and squeezed as hard as I could, to no avail. My boyfriend is not in pain and we were able to have a decent time in the bedroom. I think we have both concluded that my squeezing seems to only happen when I'm about to cum. I've concluded after reading a ton of your comments that it's very likely that yes I have overactive PC muscles, and yes I have a very high sex drive. I think my bf is willing to work through these issues with me, and I will absolutely be making an appointment with my gynecologist to get things checked out. Thank you so much for all the useful information and advice. I'm still reading through the comments and I appreciate all the tools you've given me to help better communicate with my bf.<br><br>UPDATE: <br>Well I had my appointment with my doctor today and she did a full examination and I don't have any underlying issues. She said my vagina is completely healthy and everything here "looks great". I told her about my concerns with my bf and squeezing, and she said the issues I'm having are likely due to my sex drive. She also suggested that seeing a therapist would benefit me as well as communication with my bf. She said I more than likely have overactive PC muscles. I'm happy to report though that bf and I have made a lot of progress! I've been practicing and communicating better, and he's enjoying our intimate time. Thank you all again for you kind words, and helpful information. I will be seeing a therapist soon, and hopefully I'll be able to meet all of my bf's needs soon. Thanks again, and again I really appreciate all the help and kindness. <br><br>UPDATE: <br>I can not believe how much kindness I've been shown on here. I'm so grateful for the resources you all have given me and I'm happy to say that I have been doing better, and my bf has expressed that he's feeling so much better. The urologist appointment went well. He's suggested pelvic floor therapy and we're working on that. Also, I wanted to thank everyone who reached out and offered support and personal experiences. I am doing much better now, and I appreciate the time you've all taken to share your stories with me. Thank you all again for the love, support and kindness. You all have been amazing!