The universe wants me dead

You're a college student, and you are utterly and completely convinced that the universe wants you dead. You've given up fighting it, because after 20 years of actively trying to end your life, you're starting to think the universe has given up trying too. What are some of the events that have spurred you to this conclusion, and how do you spend your average day?<br><br>TLDR: The universe wants me dead, but has given up<br><br>EDIT: Holy shit this blew up. Thanks for all the awards, everyone! And rest assured, I'm not actually contemplating suicide - I'm simply deeply regretful that my parents decided to name me after the guy from the Iliad.