I couldn't be more proud of how I handled myself in court today. Handled by myself, won by myself, and the ex lost with a lawyer.

Child support modification hearing. Ex hired a lawyer, I couldn't afford to. Judge was a tradcon, but the facts are the facts. <br><br>Judge: So you know how much you make?<br><br>Me: Yes, your honor. I make $X.<br><br>Judge: And you know how much you made when you were paying $Y in child support?<br><br>Me: Yes, your honor. I made $Z.<br><br>Judge: And what was your expense list then, what did you pay for when you said you couldn't afford to pay any more?<br><br>Me: Yes, your honor. I had these expenses [lists 10-15 expenses].<br><br>Judge: I see. So what are your expenses now?<br><br>Me: Well, your honor [smirks] I was able to cut down my expenses by moving into a smaller house, selling my old car, canceling my gym membership, subscription streaming services, and finding a new job with better pay in exchange for longer hours and a much longer commute. So now these are my expenses [hands judge a three page list]<br><br>Judge: [pauses, flips through pages] what is all this? Why should I care that you pay $50 a month for a cell phone?<br><br>Me: [smirks wider] Well, your honor, when I was paying $Y in child support there were expenses that I had to pay that had nothing to do with my child. I took that list straight from [CASE#-redacted]. The expenses I had to pay then, that were deemed fair, are the expenses I have now. <br><br>Judge: [stunned] so you're saying you're paying yourself $500 a month in expenses that have nothing to do with your son?<br><br>Me: [shrugs] well, your honor, you ruled that those expenses were necessary for me to live, that they weren't frivolous, and that they were justification for lowering my child support payments. <br><br>Judge: [stunned] son of a bitch. Your honor, I move that child support be lowered to $W a month. <br><br>The ex was crying, the judge was smirking, her lawyer was dumbfounded, and I was smiling ear to ear. I paid myself out of the system today and got ahead while the tradcon was mad at me for winning.