I stole a piece of cake from a wedding

I wanted to tell someone this, and, since I don't know who else to tell, I'm going to tell it to you, internet. I stole a piece of wedding cake at a reception I went to in 2014.<br><br><br>As a child I was a cake eater. I ate a lot of it. I craved it. After many years of eating a lot of sugar, I stumbled upon something called "paleo." I started reading about it and realized that I didn't have to eat the way I had been my entire life. So, I started doing it, in January of 2014. By summer of 2014, I had lost a lot of weight and was feeling great.<br><br><br>Well, my cousin, who I had never met, was getting married. I had to go. So I did, with my mom and dad. My dad is a large guy, he's a big eater too, and when he found out that I wasn't going to be eating any cake at this wedding, he was mad. I told him that I was not going to do it, that I was going to be good.<br><br><br>As a side note, you will not believe the absurdity of what I am about to tell you. During the reception, I started to get really nervous. I didn't know what to expect, so when they started telling us which table was to be called first, second, third, etc. I started to get worried. It was obvious that I was going to be eating the wedding cake. It was going to be served at the table. "How am I going to do this? What if someone finds out that I took a piece of cake even though I was supposed to decline it? What if they think I'm a cake stealer?" <br><br><br>Well, my table was called. I walked up to the wedding cake table. I saw a giant wedding cake, table-length, three tired, huge. They were all decorated. There was a lady standing near it, and she asked me, "Would you like a piece of cake?" I responded with a "no". But then I got an idea. I thought to myself, "If I can just get to the other side of the table that the lady is on, maybe I can take a piece of cake once she's not looking. <br><br><br>So, I walked around to the other side of the table, acting all non-chalant, and, when I was sure no one was looking, I grabbed a piece of cake. I ate it in, like, three bites, and I didn't even chew it. And then I walked away, into the night, all by myself. I didn't look back and I didn't look around. By the time I was done with the cake, I had almost reached the parking lot. I think I might have even cried a little that night.<br><br><br>It's been many years since that night and I've never felt a guilt so strong. Thank you for listening to my confession, internet.<br><br>Edit: Wow, you guys are really blowing this up. Thank you all so much for getting this post and my channel to where it is now. All of the upvotes and the awards and everything are greatly appreciated. Also, to all of those who have been viewing my channel, thank you so much. I'm glad you're enjoying my content. And to all those who subscribed, I can't even begin to express my gratitude. Thank you all.<br><br>Edit 2: Okay now, this is just getting ridiculous. My channel blew up. Like, I got hundreds of subscribers and thousands of views in the past three hours. I didn't expect this. I just wanted to write a confession and post it. I want to thank all of you again for your kindness and for viewing my channel. I'm so grateful for all of this. Thank you all.<br><br>Edit 3: I just woke up a few minutes ago and saw that my channel got even more views and subscribers while I was asleep. I don't know what else to do but laugh. I guess if you want to look at some guy talk about, well, Paleo, you've come to the right place. Thank you all so much.<br><br><br>Edit 4: Wow, you guys just won't quit. I've never had so much fun. Everyone has been so nice to me and my channel, thanks so much. Thank you. Thanks for all the awards and subscriptions, and for watching my channel.