My favorite sex toys are being ruined by gentlemen who don’t know how to treat a lady.

I love vibrators. They’re so much easier to carry around than a man, hold less conversations, run out of batteries instead of my patience and don’t shit all over my bathroom. I’ve never been happier in my life with my trusty buzzing companions. <br><br>However, I’ve never been more concerned for the future of my people. There’s a new company, lighting the way, towards brighter and more exciting times. Their genius idea? Sending male and female vibrators to your door. Unfortunately, they’re gentlemen. They send them in the same package. <br><br>This has resulted in me receiving my vibrators, that have been intimate with one another. There’s blood (be careful, it’s red and everything), there’s sweat, there’s the remains of what was once a beautiful relationship that never got the chance to be explored. Arriving at my doorstep, like the remains of a failed experiment. I just want to pleasure myself, without the need to think about these gentlemen and the feelings they had for one another. <br><br>I just want to scream “WHY CAN’T WE JUST VIBRATE IN HARMONY?! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE! JUST STOP FIGHTING AND GET ALONG!” <br>Instead, I just throw them in the trash and hope that one day, the world will be a better place.