I just woke up to the news of my dads untimely passing.

I woke up to the news that my dad disassociated a few weeks ago.<br><br>I have a complicated history with my dad, he abandoned me as a child and left me to rot in an abusive house. He never made any attempts to contact me or explain why and even stopped paying child support. I later found out he got a paternity test which came back negative. He just dropped off the face of the earth. I never pursued him, I wasn't even sure how.<br><br>I later found out he had died.<br><br>I'm just in shock because I never expected to have a chance to reconcile with him, but I just wish I could have hopped he was doing okay. He had a hard life, I wish I could have told him I forgave him even though I know he probably never realized how much he hurt me.