You have been, or will be, saved.

I just want to say that to all the struggling addicts currently. I’ve gotten to the point at 31 where I can look at any of my struggles and see how it’s improved my life and made me stronger, I’ve finally achieved the mental clarity to see why all my struggles happened. <br><br>A month ago I was in my second year of college, the first week of classes for the spring semester I found out I was pregnant. Crazy thing is, I took 7 classes in the fall and only got 2 Cs, the rest were Ds and an F. I tell my 24 year old boyfriend and he breaks down crying saying he’s scared but happy, I, on the other hand, was scared as well but was working on a rainy day fund for when I stopped drinking and doing drugs. We had a plan, I would stop drinking and my boyfriend would tell his parents, who would, we were sure, cut him off financially. <br><br>We went out to a nice dinner and told his brother, who was the only person that would be supportive. He said to wait until we knew for sure, and then we would tell his mom. So we went to the store and bought two pregnancy tests, I took them and they both came out negative. We were both so happy and we went out to dinner again. We took the tests out of the packaging, and I still had them in my purse. When we got home I took them out to throw them away, and I noticed something strange. I had taken two tests, but there were actually three tests in my purse. <br><br>I took the tests again and both sets of tests came out positive. We were both so happy. We finally, almost a month later, told my boyfriend’s parents and the reaction was exactly as we expected. They told him to move into an apartment, and we still had time to break our leases so we decided to move in together. <br><br>Well, Thursday of last week I had the worst stomach cramps I’ve ever had. I was bleeding and I was in immense pain. I went to the emergency room and they told me I was miscarrying. I was in shock, and my boyfriend was very supportive. We went to visit my parents and we finally told them. They told me they’d take care of the moving costs and they’d be there when the time came. <br><br>I’ve realized that, even though I lost the baby, it was like the universe telling me to get my shit together. I still had a week before moving so I’m going to tie up loose ends, get a rainy day fund going for me, and take care of myself for January. I’m staying with my parents, who will hopefully let me continue drinking and smoking cigarettes. <br><br>I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m working on getting my shit together.