I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I loathe you.

I wish I could tell you how I feel. <br><br>Hate's too strong a word. It's not hate. <br><br>I need to speak to you, for my own piece of mind, but I don't want to hurt you or damage our relationship.<br><br>I'm a little disappointed. Not angry, not bitter, or resentful.<br><br>I don't loathe you, but I certainly don't love you anymore.<br><br>You disappointed me, and that disappointed me.<br><br>I wanted to hate you when I found out. But I couldn't. I felt so betrayed but your reaction disappointed me further.<br><br>Why did you do that? I feel like an idiot for not noticing the signs.<br><br>Why did you need to hurt me like that? What did I do to you?<br><br>I wanted to loathe you, to despise you, to hate you, to feel nothing but anger and resentment towards you.<br><br>But that hatred turned to disappointment. I'm disappointed in myself, disappointed in you.<br><br>We both failed.<br><br>I'm disappointed in myself for not noticing the signs. I don't even know how I feel.<br><br>I am disappointed, hurt and betrayed.<br><br>I'm disappointed in myself, in you, and in us.<br><br>I wanted to hurt you back, to make you feel the pain you caused me. But I couldn't.<br><br>I wanted to break down in tears, to scream at the top of my lungs, to tell you how much you hurt me.<br><br>I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. I'm let down. <br><br>I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing this coming. I'm disappointed in you for doing this to me.<br><br>I'm disappointed in us.<br><br>I don't know if I can ever go back to before. I don't know if I can ever love you again.<br><br>I want to hate you. To despise you. To feel nothing but anger and resentment.<br><br>I'm so disappointed in us. I want to scream at you, to hurt you, to make you feel the pain you caused me.<br><br>I'm disappointed in myself, I don't know if I can ever go back to before. I don't know if I can ever love you again.<br><br>I don't even know if I can stay in this relationship.<br><br>But I don't want to hurt you or damage our relationship.<br><br>I just know I'm disappointed in myself and in you.<br><br>I can only hope that we can work through this.