What if being a single mom was a choice?

I'm a 41m and have always been pretty attractive. I'm a tall, muscular man with a decent face. I was never super popular in highschool but had a solid friend group, and since have been successful in my career. I've always been very into women and would date a lot throughout my life. I've always been pretty good with women too, I know what I want and I know how to get it. I've never been with anyone under 20 (for 10+ years I would say I was only with people in their 20's) but I've been with plenty of people in their early 20's. <br><br>A year ago I started dating a woman in her 40's and things went pretty well, we'd been dating for about a year and decided to move in together. She's been amazing in every way and it's been the best relationship of my life, I'm just a really happy guy for once. She recently got a job in another city about 10 hours away, and told me I should come visit. So I went down to visit her and was there for a week. While I was there, she had a doctor's appointment and I tagged along. She mentioned that she was getting older, and I offered to get vasectomies together so we could just enjoy the experience without worrying about birth control. She seemed excited and I was excited to have it done, I've never had a vasectomy and it would just be a good time. <br><br>When we got back to her house she went to get some snacks and when she came back she was bawling her eyes out. I asked if something was wrong and she told me she was actually never actually on any birth control, she had always just tricked her boyfriends into getting vasectomies so that she could control the relationship and prevent them from cheating. She said she was afraid if I was willing to get a vasectomy that I must be just as easily manipulated. She said that she was just going to keep the appointment, but hearing me offer to get a vasectomy made her start to feel like she wasn't good enough and she was going to be alone forever so she was just going to let go of all her anxiety and just enjoy her life. She started crying and said she wanted to do it too, she just wants to have fun without any worries and let go of her fear of being alone.<br><br>I was shocked. She was gone for like 15 minutes and she just came back sobbing, I asked if she was ok and she just started bawling and saying that she just wants to live her life without any worries and just be alone for a bit before she gets older and can't have any more kids. She said she just wants to enjoy life and not worry about anything. <br><br>I was very confused. I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink and get to know me better before making any decisions. She was just crying and crying and crying. I was like "are you actually wanting to do this?" and she said yes, she wants to do it because she wants to have fun and be alone for a bit, she said she's never had any experience with casual sex, she's always had to deal with the emotional burden of the relationship and she wants to let go and be with someone just for fun. <br><br>I was like "do you actually want to do it, or are you just being dramatic because I offered?" And she said she wants to do it because she wants to enjoy her life, she said she's always been so worried about having kids and raising them well and now she just wants to let go of her anxiety and just have fun, she wants to just live life without any worries. She said she just wants to do it, and she wants to do it with me. She said she just wants to have fun with me. I said "do you actually want to be a single mom?" And she said yes, she wants to be a single mom, she wants to do it, she just wants to do it and enjoy her life. I said "I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom, if you want to do that then I want you to choose that, I want you to actually choose to be a single mom". She said "fine, I want to be a single mom". I was like "are you actually sure?" and she said "yes I'm sure". <br><br>I was like "well, if you want to be a single mom then I'm not going to get a vasectomy, I want you to go down there and ask the doctor to just cut your fallopian tubes while you're there, if you're sure that you're ready to be a single mom, then you need to make that choice". She was like "I'm sorry, I don't want to do that" and then she just walked away from me. I was like "if you're not sure, then I'm not going to get one, I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom, I want you to actually choose that". She was like "I just want to do it, I just want to have fun" and I said "if you want to have fun then don't be a single mom, if you want to be a single mom then you need to make that choice and you need to ask the doctor to just cut your fallopian tubes while you're there, I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom". I said "just come out and say it, do you want to be a single mom?" And she just said no. I was like "are you actually just afraid of getting a vasectomy?" and she was like "no, I'm just afraid of being alone forever" and then she just walked away from me. <br><br>I was like "then just choose to be a single mom, if you want to be alone forever then you should at least get the choice of having kids or not, I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom" and she just kept crying and crying. I said "if you don't want to be a single mom then you just need to say no, I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom, I want you to make that choice yourself, if you want to be a single mom then you need to make that choice and you need to ask the doctor to just cut your fallopian tubes while you're there, I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom". She was like "I just want to do it" and I said "then choose to be a single mom" and she just said no. I said "so you don't want to be a single mom" and she just said no. I said "then I'm not getting a vasectomy, I'm not going to trick you into being a single mom" and she was like "I just want to do it, I just want to have fun" and I said "if you want to have fun then don't be a single mom". <br><br>I'm very confused. I've never met a woman who doesn't want to be a mom, and I've definitely never met a woman who would want to be a single mom. I would encourage any woman to become a single mom, it's a very empowering experience that will allow you to grow as a person. If you're interested in becoming a single mom, please just say so, I encourage it, I think it's a very good idea, and I think you should make that choice for yourself.