CMV: The vast majority of women who get abortions do not want to have a child, but do not want to be pregnant… and that is a completely valid reason to get an abortion.

When I was in my mid-20’s, I got my girlfriend pregnant. Initially, she wanted an abortion, I was ambivalent. I did not want to be a dad… but if she were to have the child, I was going to be present in the child’s life. She finally decided to keep the child.<br><br>Fast forward a few months… she opens a package of my t-shirts I had shipped home from a deployment. In the box… a positive pregnancy test. I had gotten her pregnant again. Many of you know the feeling of dread that grips your heart at unexpected news like this… only this time, she was resolved from the start: she wanted an abortion.<br><br>I was ambivalent. I didn’t want to be a parent… but if she were to have the child, I was going to be present in that child’s life.<br><br>She found an abortion clinic in Chicago and scheduled an appointment. Days turned into weeks and we never talked about the pregnancy. I did not bring it up, she did not bring it up. But one of her friends found out she was getting an abortion, and she tried to talk her out of it. She convinced my girlfriend that if she got an abortion, the law would eventually change making it illegal, and if it did, my girlfriend would have no recourse but to live the rest of her life knowing she had gotten an abortion and could never go back and change her mind.<br><br>My girlfriend was convinced. She cancelled the appointment.<br><br>A few months later… she opens a box of my t-shirts I had shipped home from the same deployment. In the box… a positive pregnancy test. I had gotten her pregnant again. This time she was more pregnant than we had initially thought. She was too far along to get an abortion in Illinois, so we made an appointment in Wisconsin. When that day arrived, we drove up to Milwaukee, and we got a hotel room. We went to dinner. The next morning, we went to the clinic. The next morning, she got an abortion.<br><br>A few months later… she opens a box of my t-shirts I had shipped home from the same deployment. In the box… a positive pregnancy test. We live in Indiana. It’s illegal here. So we drive 12 hours to St Louis, MO. We get a hotel room. We go to dinner. The next morning, we go to the clinic. The next morning, she gets an abortion.<br><br>We are together for a few more months. But eventually, we break up.<br><br>When I look back on those days… I realize that my girlfriend did not want to be pregnant. She did not want to be a parent, but she was ready to be a mother. She loved kids and did not want to get an abortion. But she did not want to have a baby and would not have a child. So she got an abortion.<br><br>The vast majority of women who get abortions do not want to have a child, but do not want to be pregnant… and that is a completely valid reason to get an abortion.<br><br>**EDIT:**<br><br>First, I am sorry. I was overwhelmed by the amount of replies. I am still working through them. <br><br>Second, I agree this is not a typical CMV… I am not trying to change my mind, but I feel passionate about this topic, and I want to give people a voice if they disagree with this view. I am most interested in hearing from people who disagree with this view. I find the comments from people who agree with me to be self validating, but I have trouble relating to the other side. I want to hear your stories, feelings, needs, and concerns.<br><br>Third, I realize I did not define "want". So let me do that now. When I say that my girlfriend did not want to have a child, I mean that she did not want to have a child over other things like going to college, pursuing a career, or making money. When I say that my girlfriend did not want to be pregnant, I mean that she did not want to be pregnant over other things like getting a job, buying a house, or looking beautiful. Don't get me wrong… she very much wanted to be a mother and have children. She just did not want to have a child when she got pregnant.<br><br>Fourth, I only use the term "valid" to mean: "having a sound basis in logic or fact; justifiable." I am not making a moral judgment. Different people will have different perspectives on what is "valid." If you disagree with my perspective on what makes an abortion "valid", we can have different discussions.<br><br>**tl;dr:** It is valid for a woman to get an abortion if she wants a child, does not want to be pregnant, and does not want to have a child.