I've fallen into a deep pit and my arm is bent backwards so I'm going to be real. Communism is not working.

When coming up to the referendum I had the full intention of supporting it every step of the way. I've fallen into a deep pit of depression that I just can't see myself being able to climb out of however, so I'm going to be honest. I've been a long time supporter of the ideology but in coming to the current referendum I've felt myself start to question the motives of my actions. We get more views every day than ever before, but what good is that if we aren't helping our fellow man? Why should we want to spread something like this if it is not for better?<br><br>I've always maintained that my actions don't lead to harm, but as I think about it more I am starting to realize that while I don't have an active hand in causing harm, I am absolutely complicit in the actions that are damaging our society. I have always maintained that I am doing what I think is best for our people, but I've come to realize that I have been selfish in my beliefs. I have never truly considered the ramifications of our actions, or what they actually mean to our citizens. <br><br>I have fought for every cause I've supported with my full devotion. Suddenly I'm finding myself wondering if that devotion is well placed. In the past I think it was, but I fear that it is not any longer. I fear that those of us who claim to support the state are actually self-serving, that we don't actually care for the welfare of the people, but that we are fighting solely for the state to continue so that we may feel protected. So that we may feel like we are doing something right. I fear that is not enough, and I fear that we've known this for a long time.<br><br>I have never felt like this before, and I don't know if I've ever felt this way about anything. It feels as though I am betraying myself. Suddenly I'm finding myself actually wondering what the meaning of right and wrong is. Suddenly I'm finding myself wondering what the real meaning of progress is. It's confusing, and it's scary, and I'm not sure how long it will continue. I may go back to how I was in the future, I don't know. At this moment, I just don't see the progress I once seen.