My loneliness this xmas

I’m Welsh and I’m on this app so I hope it’s alright that I’ve posted here. I near 30 years old and I’ve never found a relationship. I don’t even have that one ex that I can get closure from. <br><br>I’m from a small village and I work for the council in a 12 person office. Two are married and the others are in their early 20s and single. So, that are no chances of romance at work. My village does not even have a pub or social club. I’m 50 miles away from the nearest city and my best friend and his fiancé live 200 miles away so I don’t get to see her much because she’s abandoned me. <br><br>I’ve tried dating apps this year and I’ve been on 4 dates. I’ve liked the girls I’ve met and I’ve been getting better at conversation. However, my dates have said I was boring and that they don’t want to go on a 2nd date and it’s because I’m boring. <br><br>I’m so fed up with my life and this year so I’ll be spending Christmas alone. That’s fine because this isn’t the first time so I’m used to it by now. My problem is that I’ll be alone again next year. It’s getting so fucking lonely. I thought I could live a happy life on my own, I was wrong. I’m so tired of feeling lonely and sometimes I thought going missing would be better this this life. I don’t know what I can do to change that as I’ve tried and I’m fucking fed up with this shit.