Earth has been conquered by the goths of planet Gothos.

The goths swept across the world, their black armoured legions cracking apart the armies that opposed them. Their jet black ships floated in the sky while disaffected teenagers piloted smaller craft that shredded our airforces. Our nuclear missiles were useless, destroyed with an explosion of glitter before they could harm the invaders. My friends and I were taken to Gothos to see the emperor who ruled our new gothic overlords. <br><br>He sat on his throne, his face caked in make-up, his black hair so long it touched the ground. “So, humans.” He drawled. “You will all now have to listen to my band. You are forbidden from listening to any other music other than gothic death metal. All humans over the age of twenty five will be forced to watch a ballet of unlove and gothic depression once a month, in memory of my dead cat, Josephine.”<br><br>We all nodded enthusiastically, happy to oblige. “One more thing, humans.” He added. “All of you will now have to speak like me, in the語of the goths. You will all be depressed and hateful of everything not gothic. None shall oppose us, for we are gothos and we will rule your miserable lives for eternity.”<br><br>I trembled at the thought of being gothic for the rest of my life. “My gothic lord.” I said. “I will obey you, naturally.”<br><br>The emperor glared at me. “You do not talk like goths, human. Why not?”<br><br>I shook my head. “I don’t know. Sorry, my lord.”<br><br>The gothic emperor gestured to a large gothic guard who was stood next to us. He was dressed in the gothic style of leather and rivets and held a large scythe. “This is gothmung, my gothic champion. Kill the human who refuses to talk properly.”<br><br>“Yes, my emperor.” Gothmung rasped.<br><br>I shook my head. “I’m sorry, goths! Please let me try again.”<br><br>The emperor shrugged. “Ok, human. You may try. But if not, you will die to gothmung's scythe.”<br><br>“I will not fail.” I promised. <br><br>I took a deep breath. “Your gothic majesty, why must we talk like this? Is it gothic for us to obey?”<br><br>The gothic emperor raised an eyebrow. “You humans are not gothic. You are very gothik, you will be spared.”<br><br>I sighed in relief. “Thank you, your gothic majesty.”<br><br>The emperor regarded me calmly. “Now humanity, you will be returned to your world to obey my gothic rules.”<br><br>We all nodded and were marched back to the gothic ship. As it floated away from the gothic planet I turned to my friends. “Well, that was fun.”<br><br>One of my friends shook his head. “You shouldn’t talk like that. The goths are watching.”<br><br>I looked around but couldn’t see any. “So what?”<br><br>“That’s even worse.” Another friend added. “You could be taken back to the emperor as gothik.”<br><br>I glared at them. “I am gothic, humans. Don’t call me gothik.”<br><br>My friends regarded me sadly. “You should go to the ballet, my gothic friend. You will learn much.”