I stole my roommates sex toys

I can’t even believe I’m doing this, I’ve never told this to anyone. As I’m writing this I’m shaking. (Female)<br><br>2 years ago I moved in with one of my friends, we’ve been friends for about 4 years, we were both in desperate need of a place to stay and found a house to live in that was perfect for us. We’ve spent almost our entire college years together so it wasn’t weird for us to live together, it was a great decision honestly, we knew everything about each other and our comfortability was no longer a concern. <br><br>There were some perks to living with my best friend but also some down sides. <br><br>Sara (not real name) sometimes has sex with her boyfriend when I’m at home, As we’re both in college we’re living in a rather small house so it’s easy for me to hear.. I don’t really mind, sometimes I just laugh and sometimes I don’t, I’ve heard her laugh as well.. she doesn’t mind that much to be honest. <br><br>I was jealous. For some reasons I found myself jealous of her constantly, she was getting laid, I wasn’t. I also found myself getting attracted to her, which is the reason I was jealous to begin with. This was something new to me, I’d never felt that way before, I don’t know if I’d call myself bi but I did find her attractive sometimes. She was everything I wasn’t, and she was all I couldn’t be. She was the complete opposite of me, which is what I think I found attractive the most.<br><br>I found myself being jealous of her constantly, to the point where I was just so frustrated.. she doesn’t deserve to have this good of a life. (I can’t believe I’m writing this) One day while she was gone I went into her room to explore, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.. I wanted to know more about her.<br><br>I saw her sex toys.. she had this big dildo, I don’t remember how big it was but it was much bigger than my fingers. I grabbed it and took it back to my room, I was so.. so overwhelmed with this feeling of excitement, to the point where I had tears. For no reason at all, I was just overwhelmed with emotions, I didn’t know how to explain it. I felt like I just stole something that she would never notice but at the same time it felt like she just handed it to me, it was weird.<br><br>I used it that night, it hurt really bad and I could only fit half of it in but it was just so satisfying.. it was insane.. I felt like I.. I don’t know, it just felt like I was going all out. I used it every night, not every time but sometimes, to just satisfy my jealous rage. For no reason at all, I also felt like I was betraying her? I just felt bad, But I couldn’t stop.. I.. I don’t even know<br><br>I’ve kept it all this while, sneaking it back to her room every time I moved.. I just feel like I’m not getting over this, It’s just so ridiculous. She doesn’t know, she’s never mentioned it, I don’t even know if she remembers it.<br><br>She’s the.. I want her to be happy, but I just can’t stand the fact that I’m jealous of her, I’d.. I don’t even know<br><br>I do love her to death though..