A female friend came on to me, I fell for it, and it ended up embarrassing.

I'm a 23 year old awkward loser that's never been very good at talking to girls. I'm not entirely friendless but I've never had a girlfriend and the closest thing I've ever had to a relationship is when I was 9 and my mom married my dad's best friend's daughter, giving me a female cousin roughly my age. So it's always been an awkward thing to navigate. <br><br>She and I got close, and it was the first time I ever got any positive attention from a girl. So, yeah. Kinda messed up for me, but she was like an older sister which was cool. <br><br>I haven't seen her once we both graduated high school, so that's 8 years or so. I've heard from her maybe once or twice since then, once when her dad died and once when she had a baby. I still see her mom (my aunt) once or twice a month since she's a realtor and she got me a house through her. <br><br>Anyway. So this was like the first time we actually talked in ages. She sent me a message on facebook, saying that her husband cheated on her and is apparently on his way out the door. She was asking for my help in getting her stuff out of the house. <br><br>I didn't want to, but I was kind of hopeful that maybe we could be close again. I don't have friends. I'm lonely. It's not often that I get to see another human face to face. I get stuck in my own head a lot. <br><br>So I agreed. The whole thing was embarrassing because she was already moved out. So it was literally her, me, and her husband packing up her stuff and loading it in her car. He wasn't too happy apparently, but he did say that it was all his fault, he was sorry, he wants her back... He apparently cheated on her with his TA while he was still in college... He's 30 now and it was like 8 years ago. I don't know if it's true or if it was an excuse but that's what she said. <br><br>I think he's a bit of a loser like me honestly. I kind of sympathized with him more than her. He's losing his family because of his mistake. He's being cast out of his home, his marriage is ruined, his kids are going to grow up with parents who don't live together... I mean he's not a bad guy. He was nice to me. It was just weird. <br><br>She and I started talking again. And it was like no time had passed at all. We originally started talking because we both played the same video game. So we started playing it again. Then we started playing other video games together. <br><br>It felt like we were close again. Like we were cousins again. I mean, it's been 8 years. It was weird, but it was a good weird. It was nice to feel like I had a friend again. <br><br>Then she started asking me for help with various things. Like she needed help getting her hair done (she had a hair appointment and wanted me to watch her kids for like an hour) and a bunch of other stuff. I didn't mind. I would do anything for her. I did it before, I'd do it again. It felt like we were family again. <br><br>Anyway. It all came crashing down one night. She invited herself over to my house and fell asleep on my couch. I didn't mind. I had no problem with her falling asleep on my couch after we were gaming for a few hours. I was working the overnight anyway. <br><br>I went back to my room, shut the door, fell asleep, and set my alarm. My plan was to wake up, grab a slice of pizza, and head out the door to work. It was a good plan, but it backfired. <br><br>She was in my bed when I woke up. I freaked out. I shouted at her, I'm awkward and twitchy at the best of times. I started shaking, my voice was wavering, I couldn't talk right, I could barely breathe. I remember exactly what I said. <br><br>"What are you doing in my bed?" <br><br>She said "I thought we were gonna..." <br><br>And I interrupted her. I said "I don't want to fuck you." <br><br>She looked hurt, she got up and left, and I haven't heard from her since. <br><br>It was the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know what she was thinking. She was married. She has 2 kids. The youngest is like 6 months old. I thought we were friends. <br><br>I don't know. I mean I've never been interested in her like that, but the pressure was kind of off when we were kids and she was like my cousin. It felt like we were related. <br><br>It was embarrassing. I feel like I hurt her. I was so shocked, so blindsided, she embarrassed me so badly, I lashed out. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I just reacted. I was so awkward and stupid... Ugh.